Yup. I'm back.

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Yup. I'm back.

Post by Sirius on Mon Jun 28, 2010 1:52 am

Ugh, why do I have to find the worst failfics out there? Ah, well, not like bitching about it will fix it... Here's the luck of the irish. As usual, I'm going to review as I read, so if there's any suprising plot twists - which I HIGHLY doubt there will be... - I will be as suprised as you, my two loyal readers. So, let's dive right into this shit-storm.

Ok this is my first fanfic so be honest brutally honest and tell me what I need to change.
Ok so imagine if Yuske had a baby sister and she was also a fighter with spirit energy. And she happened to fall in love with a certain wind master. Well read to see what happens.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho it's creator does but I do own Saki
Well, holy shit. Someone saying to be brutally honest instead of the usual 'Pwease be nice mistah fwamah, suh.' This author has earned a small bit of my respect. He went from 0% to .1%, just like that.
*a holographic female with long black hair, in a t-shirt and jeans appears*
Holograph: It's rather easy to earn Sirius' respect.
...What are YOU doing here...? I haven't finished you yet, you're still in the experimental stages.
Holograph: *shrugs* What? A test run would be fun.
*sigh* Fine, you win, Aisha.
Aisha: Yay!
Blasted AI...

Yuske stood at the door of his school. He was busily chatting with Hiei and Kurama. When the intercom came on.
' please come to the office, Ms. Uramshi please come to the office.'
"Oh no what did she do now" Yuske muttered watching for her.
"Who is 'she'" Kurama asked curiously.
"Yes who is 'she'". Hiei grumbled crankily to Yuske.
"My sister Saki" Yuske said.
Oh, great. Yusuke has a sister. Wonderful. *sigh* Something tells me I'm not gonna like her...
Aisha: Maybe it's the fact that she's going to be a female version of Yusuke?
That's probably it. So, the intercom comes on again, this time calling Yusuke. Then we meet Yusuke's sister, Saki.

"Here we go again." Yuske said running to the office. When he got there he saw a girl sitting with raven black hair and electric blue eyes.
"Is that her" Kurama asked appearing next to Yuske.
"Yes".
Holy shit, she has blue eyes...? Do you know what this means?!
Aisha: ...What?
She's not a complete clone! There is something not directly copied from the original! Sure, she has his hair color, powers, more than likely his attitude, and she's also a troublemaker, but she has different colored eyes! Praise Jebus!
Aisha: ...Yeaaaah, I say we limit the amount of failfics you're allowed to read.
Thank God, these things are horrible. They're killing me from the inside.
Aisha: Then let me just delete them from memory and-
And if you try to take them away, I will blast your virtual ass into actual dust. (Cookie for anyone who get's the reference)
Aisha: ...Kay... O.o
Anyway~! Back to the failfic!
Aisha: He's become addicted to them...
So, Saki painted the lockers. What is the point, you may be asking yourself. It's obvious. There is no point to anything in failfics. Only pain and suffering..
Aisha: Pain and suffering you're addicted to...
Anyway, Yusuke tells her she did a good job. The end. Next chapter. Wonder when Jin is gonna show up in this...

"Woo-I-just-can't-wait-for-the-dark-tournament-what-about-ya-Touya." A hyper red head nearly screamed at the ice master.
"No I can't, now calm down I can't understand you." The ice master called to his friend who was flying around obnoxiously.
Then how did you answer him, if you can't understand him? Bah, who gives a shit, Jin's here!
Aisha: *sigh* I guess that means I have to point out flaws when Jin's in the scene...

"Boys" a hooded figure screamed as he appeared. The hooded man ran and caught the ice master, who was trying to escape, by his arm.
"Get down here now Jin". He ordered.
Jin landed and was motioned to come. The young wind master flew over and followed the hooded man.
'I must prepare for 'is lecture' he thought nervously.
"Sit" the hooded man ordered. Then pulled off his hood to reveal a tall buff man with a lot of muscles. (Sorry I don't remember his name). The two young masters sat down.
'Ere we go' Jin thought.
"What on earth were you doing, we need to train, the tournament is in three months, are you stupid." He bellowed at the two young masters.
"Aye we know ya bloke we are training" Jin said angrily.
"Stop talking like that no one can under stand you" yelled the buff dude his face turning red with anger.
"Aye-can't-help-it-I'm-Irish-yea-don't-understand" Jin yelled before flying off again.
"What?"
Aisha: Well, at least Jin's in character. Also, I think the 'tall buff man' is Bakken or Bakkuken? Which was he in the anime?
*shrugs* Who gives a shit? He was a douche who got what he deserved when Yusuke kicked his ass.
Aisha: Indeed. Also, that's the end of chapter two. At least the chapters are short.
Less pain on my part-
Aisha: Stop acting like you don't enjoy this!
...Let's just go to chapter three... Hey, how many chapters are there?
Aisha: ...Eleven.
...Joy.

"Hey old lady, we need your help" Yuske yelled to a temple.
"What do you want dim wit" An old women said stepping out of her temple.
"Yo dim wit, wait who is that"?
"Saki say hi to the old lady".
"What ever bro" the small black haired girl said.
"Ah so there is another dim wit with you".
"Come on old lady she has spirit energy too, please help her learn. Yuske called.
"Do you want to girl"? Genkai said looking to the small black haired girl with electric blue eyes.
"Yes I want to learn, old women" Saki said.
Two months later
"Were is Uramshi"? Kuwabara wined.
'All get on board' a demon hissed.
"Wait we are missing a guy." Kuwabara yelled.
'Too bad" a demon appearing to be the captain spat.
"Hey guy you miss me" called a black haired boy, who was followed by a girl with the same colored hair and a masked man.
"Yuske were ya been." Kuwabara called.
Suddenly Hiei attacks Yuske but he dodges.
"That was a hell of a hello Hiei".
"So you are stronger" the shorter man stated.
"Who are you two"? Kuwabara asked rudely pointing to the girl and masked man.
"Oh that is my sister Saki and the other I don't know."
"Oh".
So, 'Yuske Uramshi' brought his sister along with him to the tournament? Kay, well, they are allowed to bring a back-up, if I remember correctly. So, this is all fine so far. So, basically, it's gonna be the Dark Tournament saga with Saki in it. Doesn't sound too bad...
Aisha: Yet. YOU chose this fic, so we all know it's gonna be an failure of epic proportions...
Yeah, all four of us... *looks at readers* What? Not like I have more than two people ever read these... Chapter four!

Touya and Jin were at the match watching there friend fight when Touya noticed a something moving.
"Hey Jin it looks like they have a little girl on there team." The ice master said as he watched his dear friend fight this "Kurama". The girl appeared to be cussing out one of the members on her team.
"Aye yare rights about that but don't underestimate a girl." Jin said laying his head against the walls of the arena trying to watch the match but was distracted by the young female who was at this moment yelling for Kurama to be careful and calling his friend a idiot.
"Ya, your right but that bastered killed him my turn."
"He ain't a bastered you ass hole". The young raven haired girl called.

After Touya's match.
"I lost." the ice master mumbled then fainted. "My turn" the buff one said climbing on to the stage.
"Ya come one mister tuffy your going to get your but kicked to Tim buck to". The raven haired girl called.
"HN."
"Let me fight he just beat our friend in his sleep please." "Fine, Saki you win." Jin turned his head to see who had said that. It was the girl he was admiring from afar.
She was about fourteen years old and she had dared insult the man who had taken his freedom. 'Please win'. Jin thought. Looking as the young girl climbed up on to the stage.
"Bring it little girl." "Fine I will old man." Saki said then snickered at the buff ones stunned face. No, I mean no won calls him old man.
'Aye that is the spirit I bet her brother would be fun to fight.'
"Mist." "So my brother was right you are weak I thought that maybe you would be strong but I was wrong."
"You little brat."
"I bet Jin could kick your ass with his wind right." With the words that had suddenly come from her mouth Jin looked up and his heart skipped a beat.
'Aye what is this felling, she is pretty, wait did I just call 'er pretty'.
"How dare you say that you ignorant little brat." "Am I, well I think you're the ignorant one dummy."
"So now I am a dummy brat."
'Wow she has gut's'
Aisha: Oh. Joy. Jin found his 'Twu Wuv.'
Who is fourteen.
Aisha: Yep. Also, Saki, don't argue with idiots. You'll never win.
It's like crossing Garrus Vakarian. I don't care how awsome you are, you won't live long, you won't win.
Aisha: *sigh* Chapter five.

"Ya you are a dummy." Saki screamed jumping at him. She nearly planted a kick when he caught her by the collar. That was a very bad idea. She had before lifted her legs and now was letting them go into a full fledged kick which got him were it counts. "Ug." "Ha now who is the ignorant one." Saki yelled throwing a fist into his face. Then out of no where bang she fired the spirit gun into the wall. It destroyed his fog.
"No my fog." He said angrily. Throwing a punch at Saki. She dogged and punched him in the gut. "Now I will get revenge for what you did to Kurama." Saki said kicking him hard in the leg. She then punched him in the head and grabbed him by his collar. Then began to beat the crap out of him. She ended it with a punch into the gut sending him flying backwards.
"Winner is the younger Uramshi." The announcer called.
Saki then jumped down off the stage. "Your turn bro I am going to stay here with our friends' k." "K." Yuske said as he back flipped onto the stage.
After the match. (I am just skipping it cause we have seen it on the TV show if not it is eps.39 40 and 41)
"Yes I did it I won." 'Due to ruling it has been a double lose.'
"What this is bull crap man." Saki shouted.
"We don't want to win like this, the all sacrificed for us." Touya said holding his wounded area as he climbed onto the stage.
'Great they are now winning by cheating. They just won. Wait no they haven't I won my match and Kuwabara hasn't fought though the poor boy doesn't look like he could fight.'
"It doesn't matter" the leader said hitting the wind master in the gut, which was were his wound was and it knocked him out cold.
"Hey you ya you the jerk how could you hit your comrade, you jerk." Saki spat.
"Saki calling him names ain't going to help." Yuske said grabbing his sister by the arm as she attempted to attack him.
"Let me kick his ass." Saki asked batting her eyelashes to get her way which with her brother always worked.
"Be my guest." Yuske said letting go of his sister. Who like a rocket jumped and sped down the ring.
"Your mine you ass." Saki said hitting him hard in the jaw. "Ug." Was all he said before she knocked him out cold.
Aisha: Ug? 'Ug?' I may not have them, but I know a hit there makes a man say several things, but 'Ug' is not one of them. I'd expect a highpitched voice or something.
Also, I don't know if you know this, but Touya is NOT the wind master, Jin is. For a fic about Jin, the author seems to mistake him for Touya.
Aisha: Also, Saki knocked out Risho with A punch. Fat lot of good your earth armor did there, eh? Chapter six!

'Aye where am I oh ya Yusuke beat me to a pulp. That battle was like woow wee and all that.' Jin thought coming to after the match against team Uramshi. His eye fluttered open when he heard voices from the other side of the room. "Can I help with anything?" A young female voice said. Jin turned his head to see who the voice belonged to but could not see anything.
"Ya you can heal the hole in the little male's stomach." It must be Touya they is talking about. Jin thought as he stared at the ceiling and then quickly closed his eyes when he heard the younger female coming.
Then a bright light filled the room. Jin then moved to cover his eyes with the blanket. "Phew he should be conscious in a minute here." The young female voice sang. "Good now put wash cloths on there heads." Came the older female voice. "yes." The young female said quickly placing wash cloths on the two's head. Cold that is cold aye yea can't even get a brake. Jin thought as he slowly opened his eyes to see.
A female's behind. "Hey this one is awake." The female called turning around. Jin then saw the youngest Uramshi who was tending to wounds on Touya. He is getting attention aye need to wait Jin stop he is unconscious why is yea jealous. He then turned to face Saki the little girl that gave him this unsettling feeling in his stomach. "How long 'ave I been out." Jin asked not expecting her to understand his Irish accent. "For about a week." Saki said. Jin looked up at her startled that she had understood what he had said. Then I hit him. "A week." He said jerking upright to just fall back again. "Ow."
"Hey be careful. Here hold still I need to change them bandages." Saki said grabbing a new role and unfastening the old bandages. She unwound them with out a word. "Ewe ok my brother did a really good number on you." She said as she began winding the new bandages. "Aye he did. Wait Uramshi is your brother." Jin asked looking attempting to look back at her but failed. "Yes now hold still." Saki said as she pulled on the bandages. She then got up and walked away.
Jin watched her with sad eyes. ". lik…e her .do..n'...t you." Touya said weakly as he looked at his friend. "Aye what makes you think that." Jin said as his face turned red Touya of course saw this and took the opportunity. "You d.o…to l…i..k..e..he.r." Touya said. "Hush she is coming." Jin quickly said. Saki at that moment came in carrying two trays of food. "I thought I heard voices." Saki said. She then moved to put the trays in front of the boys. Touya how was trying to eat his food but failed look to Saki for help. Then a young sea-green haired girl came to help him eat. Saki sat down across form the beds.
"Saki come on the others are looking for us." Yukina said when the boys were done eating. "Right coming." Saki said taking the trays and hurrying after her friend.
So, they decided to help tend to Jin and Touya's wounds? How nice.
Aisha: Unlike the actual story, where they just kinda leave 'em there.
So, yeah, not much happens other than Touya pointing out the obvious. Next!

Bright light burned the girl's eyes. "Saki gets up." Yukina said shaking the girl hard. "What." Saki said half asleep. The black haired girl moved to stand up.
"Come on we are going to be late to the tournament." Yukina said pulling her along. Saki followed quietly. She noticed that the others were gone. She stepped outside and shielded her eyes. "Where is everyone at?" Saki asked as she followed the aqua haired girl.
"Gone, they all left an hour ago." Yukina said to her friend. Saki just shrugged and kept walking. They kept going. They walked for what seems along time when they heard a noise. Black and brown hair where visible through the trees. "I am going to see what that is." Saki said wandering off.
"Saki wait come back. Saki." Yukina called but the attempt was futile Saki had already taken off. Yukina followed.
"Yusuke what on earth? What happened?" Saki asked Keiko as she approached her. "I don't know I found him like this. The bushes rustled and the two girls looked up to see what it was. Yukina had already retreated.
"Hey look what we have here two pretty little human ladies." A creepy demon said smirking as he crept closer to the two girls.
"Oh look it is two very pretty vulnerable little girls." Another said agreeing with the first creepy demon. He crept closer. Keiko screamed and pulled Yusuke closer to her. Saki held up a fist. She was not going to back down.
"You leave us alone you creep." Saki said glaring. She was ready to fight it out for her brother's sake. "Look even better its Uramashi." The one said ready to strike Yusuke without care. "Ah." Keiko screamed again pulling Saki back away from the demons.
"Let's get him." The demon said moving closer to Yusuke. Help somebody please Jin. Wait why did I think of him. Saki thought to herself. The demon came closer. Bang.
He was hit on the head. "What in the world. I am going to get who ever did that." The first demon hissed. "I wouldn't it is Rinku and Chu." The second said. "And Touya and Jin." The third demon chimed in. They all ran as fast as possible.
"Thanks." Keiko stuttered. "Yea uh thanks for saving us." Saki added in hating thanking people. "No problem mate we were just going through the area at the 'ime." Chu said in his Australian accent.
"Hey 'e seems a bit stronger an all." Jin said leaning closer to Yusuke. Saki back up a bit. He was a little to close to her for comfort.
"He does." Rinku asked looking confused. "Yes he does. Now that I look at 'em he does seem a might stronger." Chu said. Saki looked at Rinku for a little bit.
"Hey how old is he?" Saki asked totally out of the blue. Everyone looked at her. Saki gave a what-is-your-problem look. "Uh who?" Touya asked looking at her as if she was crazy.
"The little kid." Saki said pointing to Rinku. "Oh him he is seven and his name is Rinku." Touya answered.
"Ow Keiko that hurt." Yusuke mumbled in his sleep. They all looked at him. All except Saki who at the time was still looking at Rinku.
"She has got 'em whipped." Chu said as all the boys laughed. Keiko blushed. "What." She stammered turning bright red. "Hey no she don't I have been with them this whole time." Saki replied.
"OH so you are the one." Chu asked. Jin's face became uneasy at these words.
"No ewwwww. He is my brother. That is just….ew." Saki screeched. "Oh ok then." Chu said noticing the eased look on Jin's face.
"Hey uh does Rinku have parents?" Saki asked earning more weird looks. "Uh no. Why do you ask?" Touya asked her.
"Uh well I was thinking and maybe he should come home with us and go to school. He is still a child." Saki suggested. "Sure." They all said at once. Rinku looked at them quickly. "We will get him later thought." Saki added in and Rinku gave a happy to look to her."
"You sure ya want to take 'im in." Jin asked Saki. She nodded. "What is he evil or something?" Saki asked. Jin chuckled.
"No 'e aint evil but hard to handle at times." Jin replied. "Yey can understand 'hat I say." Jin asked. "Ya don't normal people." Saki asked.
"No." Jin added. "Jin." Chu called. "Ya." Jin replied. "We should stay with them." Chu said everyone shook there head yes.
"Hey there is a girl here. Are you ok?" Touya asked pulling Yukina up. She shook her head yes.
...If the summary didn't clearly state that she falls for Jin, I'd say she loved Rinku. And, that's about all I have to say about this chapter. Next!

A group of people where all standing around a room. When the black haired boy shot up right. He dashed out of the room. "Were is e going." Chu asked curiously. "Oh, oh no." Saki said staring at the ground.
"What is it? What's wrong twerp." Kuwabara asked.
"I…I got to go." Saki said running out of the room. Jin watched her run out. "Yey got any idea what is wrong with her I mean it's like a whoo and wee then she gone." Jin said to Touya as he registered what Jin had just said.
"I don't …. Oh no it's her." Touya said watching Kuwabara run out of the room. Screaming for Uramashi to come back.
"Is something…. Can yey feel that? She is gone the pink haired one is gone." Jin pointed out felling the grief was over him.
Sometime passed and it was now dark out. "Ay can yey see that? Saki do yey see that." Jin said pointing to the sky. A huge golden light shot up at the sky.
"Yusuke." Saki said whipping the tears from her eyes. Jin stared at her. Ay it makes 'er eyes sparkle when see whips the tears away. She is sure pretty with 'em like that. Also she understands me Irish accent. Jin thought looking at her.
"Do yey think e'll be okay?" Jin asked. Saki shook her head yes then began to cry. She pulled her knees up to her chin.
"Are yey going to be okay?" Jin asked looking at her she was shaking like a leaf. Saki nodded that she would.
Chu walked by singing to himself. He was bobbing back and forth.
"Ay look do yey think he is drunk?" Jin said nudging Saki in the arm she looked up. Then she laughed. "Yes he is most definitely drunk. But I thought he was broke how on earth did he pay for it?" Saki pondered as she again whipped her eyes.
"No idea but I think Touya likes yey friend." Jin said looking at the sky. "Yeah I have to agree I mean they are always together." Saki agreed. She then felt four energies on the edge of the cliff below them.
"Hey Jin are you and the others coming to the final fight?" Saki asked out of complete curiosity. The wind master nodded. "I wouldn't be missin' it for the world." Jin said flying up.
"Of course not." Saki said then chuckled to herself. Jin flew around her then sat back down.
"Ay I ave a lot of respect for your brother. Did you know e was the first one to give me a real fight for a long time?" Jin said.
"No I didn't" Saki said then stiffened. A huge figure appeared out of no were. It stalked towards them.
"Oh look the Irish-I-can't-help-my-accent brat actually got a girl." The buff man said.
"No yey need to leave yey won't hurt her." Jin said standing up. He walked in front of Saki. "Oh why not afraid of not getting another one." He taunted.
Saki stood up and walked over to the buff one a nailed him right where it counts. "Dummy don't even think about it I kicked your ass once don't make me do it again." Saki said spitting at him.
"Oh maybe I shouldn't underestimate her." The buff one whined standing up. He ran into the woods as fast as he possibly could.
"Yey aren't scared of im." Jin asked Saki shook her head. "Nope he is just an idiot with an over inflated ego." Saki said as she walked back.
"I think we should go back." Saki said looking back then going on. Jin grabbed her arm. "Ay wait a moment." Jin was close to her just inches from her face.
Ooh, what's Jin gonna say to his 'twu wuv?'
Aisha: Also, why would Bakken come back? She kicked his ass with no effort before, does he think he'll pose a threat this time? She was right, he is a 'dummy.'
I'd say he's a dumbass, but dummy works too, I guess...

Saki bright red. Jin slowly came closer to her. Why? Why is my heart beating so rapidly?
He inched closer and closer. When out of nowhere. "Hey sis what up?" Yusuke said earning a glare from Saki. He then walked up and grabbed her arm.
"Well we have had along tiring day." Yusuke said faking happiness so he wouldn't hurt his sister. He then proceeded to pull her off. She looked back at Jin with an I'm-sorry-he-is-nuts look on her face.
"Saki what where you doing out there with Jin of all people." Yusuke asked when they where all alone. "I ran out after you and he found me." Saki replied looking at the ground.
Yusuke glared a yeah-right glare. Then walked off to bed. "Night." He called sounding slightly irritated. She replied with a night as well. Then wandered off to her room.
At the final battle.
"Ah. No Kuwabara come back please." Saki said reaching for her brother like figure. It was too late, he was stabbed. Saki then began to cry. She then watched her brother glow different colors.
"Yusuke." Saki said Kurama then hugged her close like a real brother would. To her the whole gang was like a family. Botan like a clue less mom. Hiei like an overprotective father, and all the other boys like her brothers.
She felt the grief wash over him. He then proceeded to take the man out.
"Lets go Yusuke." Kurama said. Saki looked around looking for Jin. He had already left. "It is all my fault. If I didn't have damned brick walls around my emotions he would still be here." Yusuke said crying. He didn't see Kuwabara move.
"He he here I am Uramshi." He said Yusuke then proceeded to beat him up. "The girls lets go get them." Kuwabara said after Yusuke stopped beating him. They got them and woke Keiko up. Five. They heard the intercom call.
"Yukina were is my sister at?" Kuwabara asked her. She shrugged. The girls where then pushed out the nearest exit by the boys. When they got to the end they found that it was blocked.
Three "Oh great we can't break it and there is no time to get out." Yusuke said. Bang the boulder was broke and there stood Chu, Rinku, Jin, and Touya.
The gang then ran out. When they where about a couple hundred feet away they turned around. Out of the dust came Kowenma and Kuwabara's sister.
"Hey we never got our prize." Botan said. "Yeah but they couldn't give us what we wanted anyway." Yusuke replied. Genkai. Saki thought. That is what they all wanted.
A Few days later.
Knock. Yusuke walked up to the door and opened it. There stood Jin and Touya. "May we see the girls?" They asked. Yusuke nodded. "Saki, Yukina visitors." "Coming." Both girls called at once.
They walked out to find the boys. "We came to say good bye yeay know." "Bye." Both girls told the boy. Then Rinku appeared out of no where. "Just making sure you blodgers didn' forget 'em." Chu said dragging Jin and Touya out.
"Come on." Saki said following the path that her brother took when the two boys came. The she saw pink. "Genkai." She cried hugging her. "Let's go home."
Two years later.
Ding-dong. "Hello." Saki said.
...So, they waited a few day, saw Genkai, then went home? If they didn't go home already, what did they knock on?
Aisha: I wonder who could be at the door... Jin? Bah, that would be too obvious. It has to be someone else.
Next chapter.

There at the door stood none other than Touya. "Touya what are you doing here?" Saki asked opening the door wider.
"Mama who's at the door." A young voice called. "Who's that?" Touya asked. Saki stepped aside-letting Touya in the house. He walked in. "Have a seat." Saki said as she went to get Rinku.
"Touya." Rinku screamed running in and hugging his old teammate. "Mama why didn't you tell me it was Touya here?" Rinku asked looking at saki with a sad expression. " So why are you here?" Saki asked ignoring Rinku.
"Well its about Jin he's been attacked." Touya said flinching involuntarily. "WHAT." Saki screamed causing Touya and Rinku to jump. "How, when, where, and who?" Saki asked/demanded.
"Let me tell you."
Flash back
"Hey Touya aren't we gonna visit saki soon." Jin asked flying in circles around Touya. "Yes Jin we are." Touya replied annoyed at the fact that this was the seventh time he'd asked today and it was only ten in the morning.
"Whow whe I'm excited now were are we a going now Touya." Jin asked flying after Touya. "You will see Jin just come on." Touya replied coolie.
"And how does that help mama." Rinku asked. " Hush let him finish." Saki said.
Rustle. "Oy Touya what was that?" Jin asked following Touya on foot through the woods. No response. "Touya." Jin asked looking around seeing no sign of Touya.
Rustle. "Oy who's there." Jin asked. Bam. He was knocked to the ground unconscious.
End Flash Back.
"And I found him like that I did see Hiei walking away from there though." Touya said. "Damn it. I told him to leave my friends alone he is not my father so I don't know why he thinks he is." Saki half said half yelled.
"Chu please bring him in." Touya said looking at the door. Chu emerged carrying Jin who was unconscious and badly beaten.
"Oh no." Saki said running into the next room and immediately picking up the phone. Bring " Hello Genkai I need you to send Yukina to me please." Saki pleaded over the phone. "Thank you."
20 minute later.
"Saki what's wrong." Yukina asked walking in and looking around when she saw Touya her cheeks turned pink.
"Its Jin Hiei attacked him." Saki said trying to stay calm. " You mean he still hasn't gotten over what happened at the demon tournament." Yukina asked.
"I guess not." Saki said. "Well you guys stay out here I will heal him." Yukina said vanishing inside.
"So what exactly happened at the demon tournament?" Touya asked. "Nothing." Saki replied quickly her cheeks turning bright red. "Saki." Touya said.
"Fine well Jin told me he loved me and I told him I loved him back." Saki said. "That's not all that happened if Hiei is this pissed off about it." Touya stated. "And wealmostmated." Saki replied quickly. "Thought so." Was all Touya said.
They remained quiet for awhile. "You know Jin wants to come here and marry you." Chu said. "He does?" Saki asked.
"Yes that's all he talks about is you it gets annoying at times." Touya answered. "Sorry." Saki mumbled. "It's not your fault." Touya said looking up to see Yukina come out. "He is fine now and awake he wants to see you saki." Yukina said sitting down next to Touya. Saki then went into the house.
"You think he is finally going to ask her to marry him." Chu asked. " I hope so." Touya said.
"YES." Saki's voice rung out. "I think he did." Yukina said smiling.
Aisha: Told you it wouldn't be Jin.
...She's sixteen. Jin just asked a sixteen year old to marry him. Really? Do demons even get married?
Aisha: They're in Japan, everything's fucked up there.
Wow. Subtle. Apologies to Japanese everywhere.
Aisha: Next chapter, and last chapter.
Holy shit, I think I'll go an entire failfic without killing myself...
Aisha: Great.


Ten years later.
"Mommy, mommy there here." A hyper redhead five-year-old said running up to his mother.
"Who's here tachi, who's here." Saki said looking down at her five-year-old son. "Uncle Touya and aunty Yukina." Tachi said starting to fly.
"Saki we are here." Yukina said walking in with her five-year-old twins and husband. "Oy Touya you're here." Jin said flying in from upstairs.
The women sat down and watch the children play as the men talked outside.
"I can't believe how much tachi is like his father I just hope this little one is more like me." Saki said looking down at her seven mouths pregnant belie.
Laughs. "Yeah well you should see how much my daughter is like here dad. And my son is like me." Yukina said smiling.
"True." Saki said. "Mommy." Tachi cried having fallen down. Saki then got up and picked him up.
Few hours later "Bye guys." Yukina said leaving. "Daddy." Tachi said flying over to his dad. Jin then caught him. "Bed time mister." Saki said. "But mommy." Tachi pleaded. Saki gave him a firm look. "Fine night night mommy night night daddy." Tachi said flying up to his room.
Jin then turned and kissed his wife. "I love you and I'm so glad I got the nerve to ask you to marry me." Jin said. "I'm glad you did too and I love you too." Saki said. "Ew." "Tachi go to bed." "Darn it." Tachi. "I better go put im to bed." Jin said going upstairs.
I'm glad you are my husband Jin. Saki thought before going to help her husband knowing he would easily give into their son.
Fin.
Oh thank God it's done...
Aisha: So, at least now Saki's an adult...
I'm not gonna get over that, he married a minor. And no one had a problem with this?
Aisha: I'm suprised Touya's alive, given that Yukina married him. Hiei should have killed him by now...
He's probably tried. So, yeah, this has been Sirius snarking 'luck of the irish.' My final words on this story? Mehh... It's not as bad as some of the other fics I've snarked.
Aisha: Also, get used to me. If Sirius does any more snarks, I'll be there at his side.
Daw, that's so swee-
Aisha: He'll probably kill himself if I'm not here to talk him out of it.
...She's got a point... Until next time, my two readers.
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Re: Yup. I'm back.

Post by The Administrator on Mon Jun 28, 2010 11:09 am

I don't know anything about YYH, so I'm afraid I can't sympathize with you on how much this one fails.
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Re: Yup. I'm back.

Post by Sirius on Mon Jun 28, 2010 12:18 pm

Bah, whatever. I know this was bad and some parts were out of character, and that's enough for me.
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Re: Yup. I'm back.

Post by Godmodder Studios on Mon Jun 28, 2010 5:55 pm

Yeesh, talk about horrid.
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Re: Yup. I'm back.

Post by Sirius on Mon Jun 28, 2010 5:58 pm

And the saddest thing is, I find this to be one of the better fics I've snarked...
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Re: Yup. I'm back.

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