Kawaii Phione, a Poke- Oh, God, this is gonna hurt...

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Kawaii Phione, a Poke- Oh, God, this is gonna hurt...

Post by Sirius on Sat Jul 24, 2010 11:28 pm

Yo. Sirius here. After a failfic-free vacation, I'm back to work. So, let's dive right into 'Kawaii Phione.' This is by the author of Team Angels, Poffin, and Plush, so I have no expectations for anything good to come out of this. I am, in fact, expecting a bunch of Legendaries to be turned into teenage girls in this. So, let's not delay further, even though most of us would like to.

In the cave at Lake Verity.
"Well I think its a good idea." Mesprit said glaring Uxie.
"Sister... I'am not sure its a good idea to send a Phione egg in to another world. Who knows what will happen? Who will be its mother?"Uxie said flying in a ciricle.
Mesprit: ...I wouldn't do something as stupid as sending a Pokemon egg into another world...
Mesprit may not be the Being of Knowledge, but he's not stupid.
Aisha: Yeah, let's send a Pokemon egg into another world.
What could possibly go wrong?!

"Uh-hu! Well there's a Cherish ball with it. And I'am going to choose the mother."Mesprit hissed at Uxie.
"Hmmm... So your just going to walk up to a person and give to them. Yep!You're a crazy." Uxie said hover above the puddle of water.
You know you're in a failfic when your charcters point out how stupid the plot is INSIDE THE FUCKING STORY.
Aisha: *shakes head* Dumb bitch...
Mesprit: I'm offended that this dumb wench is claiming to be me.
You should be.

" * sigh* Fine , I trust you. But promise to be careful. Also where is the egg? Don't get hurt too." Uxie sighed under his breath.
NO! NO! No no no! Uxie, the Being of Knowledge, would NOT let this dumb imposter send a Pokemon egg into another world!
Uxie: ...That' not me.
No, it's another imposter.
Mesprit: What's next? Azelf?
Aisha: Please don't OOC the entire Lake Trio... PLEASE don't OOC the ENTIRE Lake Trio...
I'm not gonna lie, I'll fucking explode if the author, well, to put it nicely, RAPES the canon any more...
Aisha: THAT was puttin' it nicely?
YES.

Destiny Island
Roxas , Riku , and Sora where fishing while Kairi and Namine picked up sea shells.
Wait, what? Roxas and Namine are there? I think I saw something explaining this in the Author's Note...

Well the story takes at least 5 months after Kingdom Hearts 2. Oh yeah Roxas and Namine will be in this. Sora and Roxas are brothers. Namine and Kairi are sisters. Please Review
Sorry for any grammar mistakes.
...
Sora and Roxas are brothers. Namine and Kairi are sisters.
Does not compute. *fuckin' explodes*
Aisha: Siri-kun?!
Uxie: Well, he said he'd 'fucking explode,' so he did warn us...
Mesprit: DAY-UHM.
All: ...
Mesprit: Soo... Do we continue without him?
Uxie: I suppose. AI, are you with us?
Aisha: ...Siri...
Mesprit: I'll take that as a 'No.' So, Uxie, looks like it's you an' me.
Azelf: *warps in* I'll help.
Mesprit: Yay!
Uxie: Let's continue.

Roas looked at the water he notice it moved. "Hey!I think I saw something in the water?" Roxas said pointing down.
"Well duh! Fish live in water!" Sora said while his stomach began to growl.
Mesprit heard what they where saying. She hid under the docks. She put a shield around the pouch so it wouldn't get wet. But then she saw Shaymin(Sky form). "Shaymin!"She thought out loud.
Uxie: Wait, what? Why is Shaymin there? Since when could Shaymin g between dimensions?
Azelf: This is confusing...
Mesprit: I heard the AI say this: This is failfic. Falfic has no logic. Failfic has no reasoning. Failfic is fail.
Azelf: That seems appropriate.

Mesprit looked around. She saw Kairi.
"Hmm... I think she'll make a great mother for Phione." Mesprit thought to herself.
Mesprit: I guess she has that look about her...?
Azelf: I've seen her, and... I dunno, maybe she culd do it.
Uxie: ONWARD.
Azelf: So, they question what the egg is, and then decide to keep it. End of chapter.
Mesprit: Chapte 2!

Also to the story doesn't involve key blades.
Mesprit: BULLSHIT. Why not? I enjoy the fighting! Why take it out?!

Lake Verity Cave...
"I wounder if that egg hatched yet... I wounder how Shaymin is?" Mesprit thought as she hovered over the pond water.
"Hey Mesprit!" Mew said appearing out of now where.
All three: Noooo! Not Mew too!
Azelf: Don't let me appear, don't let me appear...

"OMG! Mew." Mesprit cheered.
"Like how are you?" Mew smiled.
Mesprit: ... -_-'
Uxie: Ah, right. In this fic, they're teenage girls.
Azelf: ...Even though we're several millenia old... -_-'

"Oh its Shaymin's purse.. She left it laying around Flower Paradise. I thought that if I returned it to her she wouldn't have to go through all that trouble looking for it. But I couldn't find her anywhere. So then I thought that maybe you could give it to her if you see her?" Mew smiled as she trwilled around.
All: ...Shaymin doesn't have a purse...

"Why did you scream?" Sora said staring at his brother.
"There was something on my face."Roxas muttered
"Maybe it was a bird."Sora laughed.
Azelf: Note: That was Shaymin who landed on Roxas.
Uxie: Well, I mean, Shaymin's very bird-like...
Mesprit: ...Uxie?
Uxie: I can tell jokes, too, Mesprit.
Azelf: So, the egg hatches, and Kairi names it Oki.
Mesprit: Chapter 3!
Uxie: So, Shaymin gets found.
Mesprit: Dumbshit.
Azelf: And they say it's adorable. If I were them, I'd ask 'What the hell is that?!' but adorable works too.

"You can talk?" Namine and Roxas said out loud.
"Yeah, I can talk."Shaymin said blushing a little.
Mesprit: Why is Shaymin blushing?
Azlef: I mean, all he said is 'You can talk?'
Uxie: Moving on, Roxas and Namine adopt Shaymin.

"Oh what is it and will Oki grow any bigger?" Kairi asked.
"The species Oki is are Phione and Oki stays the same size she is." Shaymin smiled.
"Thats great."
Mesprit: Genderless! Phione! Are! Genderless! Not every Legendary is a female! God, damnit!
Uxie: Only two Legendaries are female only. [Thanks for informing me of that, Vingle.]
Azelf: ONWARD.
Mesprit: Chapter 4!

"So now everything is going to good?" Uxie said smiling at Mesprit.
"Yup! Everything is prefect! Everyone is friends." Mesprit cheered going around in circles.
"What about Shaymin's garden?" Uxie muttered.
"Oh well Shaymin planted her garden on that island that I left the Phione egg on. Isn't that wonderful!" Mesprit screeched.
"Oww! Never screech or yell like that again and that's great." Uxie said rubbing his hurting head.
"Sorry...Anyway Phione is doing wonderful." Mesprit smiled while she danced around Uxie.
"Uh-hu! Well I got to go!" Uxie waved.
"But why are you leaving so early? Why don't you stay here longer? You hardly ever visit and I am your only sister." Mesprit said in a dramatic voice.
"I have been here for 2 hours and I want to read that new book at the library. Okay! Good Bye!" Uxie yelled vanished.
"Bye." Mesprit said in a sad voice.
Mesprit: It's over! Praise be to Arceus, it's finally over! Hallelujah!
Uxie: How does Sirius do these so often?
Azelf: I barely made it through this thing! And I'm the Being of Willpower!
Aisha: ...Allright, bring it in.
Azure Kite: Haahhh...
*Revival Potion'd* Ugh...
Aisha: Thanks, Kite!
Azure Kite: Haahh... *leaves*
...Uhhh, my head... So, uh, yeah, as my self-destruction pointed out, this is pure shit.
Aisha: Verdict: 'Ungodly shifest.' Only two fics gt this rating.
Both: Until next time, amigos!
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Re: Kawaii Phione, a Poke- Oh, God, this is gonna hurt...

Post by The Administrator on Sat Jul 24, 2010 11:39 pm

I-
Uhm...
What the fuck. This just... This doesn't even pass as BULLSHIT. This is a whole new level of failfic. I'd rather read Celebria-Nevermind. Not gonna go that far... But seriously. This is fucking abysmal.
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Re: Kawaii Phione, a Poke- Oh, God, this is gonna hurt...

Post by Sirius on Sat Jul 24, 2010 11:41 pm

No shit, I EXPLODED. That's an understatement!
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Re: Kawaii Phione, a Poke- Oh, God, this is gonna hurt...

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