Echo the hedgehog's snarks are not like your snarks: A T rated Sonicfic.

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Echo the hedgehog's snarks are not like your snarks: A T rated Sonicfic.

Post by Echo~the~Hedgehog on Wed Aug 25, 2010 4:49 pm

Okay. I finally found something Snark worthy. Now for a partner......

ROMANA! *opens a pokeball and a Flareon wearing a toga and crown of olive leaves comes out*

Romana: Ohai!

Me: Alright. This is Was sup baby Which is a spell fail automatically. It should be Wha's up baby. Not Was up baby....lol.

Romana: Poop in his room!

Me: Here we go.

Before we get down on the story let's tell you a bit about each character here, there are Shadow the Hedgehog, Sonic the Hedgehog and Silver the Hedgehog (Who knew?).

Okay. Romana?

Romana: Hmmm Author's note fail?

Me: *gives Romana a cookie*

Romana: Yay! *noms*

Me: Okay. The first part of any story has an important job. You must establish the setting. Clearly this author fails at that because the setting is a spasmic author's note!

Romana: *barks at the AN*

Me: A writer who can't create a setting. A setting, the whole idea of which is to display the author's ability to use imagery. How sharp can an author make the pictures in your head? How cold can he make moonlight? How warm can he make sunlight? How well can he make you understand the character's personality while being eloquent and gripping.

Romana: Epic failure!

One day at their apartment when they woke up and obviously they were with girls in their beds. Once they put on their clothes they heard the doorbell ring so Silver went to open the door.

Me: They are players who all share one apartment?

Romana: That's odd...

Me: He said far too much with two sentences. And why are they acting as a collective group? And what about their girlfriends?

Romana: No description......FAIL!

Once he opened it he found a basket with a 10-month baby girl and a note, it read "Rascal! Bastard! Take care of your daughter!"

Romana: Okay. Now I get it.

Me: Finally a plot! But that does not excuse the flaws earlier.

Romana: They all live at the same place so they don't know who the baby belongs too. But couldn't they look at its color?

Me: It didn't even say the color. IT just said baby + note.

Romana: But how did they guess the baby's age?

When Shadow and Sonic came and looked at the baby Silver then turned his head to Shadow and said "Rascal" and then turned his head to Sonic and said "Bastard" and then he turned his head back to the baby and said "Take care of your daughter…that's what written on this note"

Romana: WTF?

Me: I think I get it but still, all of that exposition could have been done in a single sentance or two. Not to mention the poor structure.

Before they could say anything though their 'temporary' girlfriends saw the baby before saying "Aww, what a cute baby…is it yours?" said Silver's girlfriend. Then Shadow's girlfriend said "You never told me you had a wife Shadow...how could you?"

Romana: Dumb blondes...

Me: I would have seen the note and realised I had been one-night-stood up. I mean really. And where's Sonic's gf? And why doesn't the note say who the father is? And why didn't they use a condom?!

and soon there was lots of arguing until Shadow shouted out "How dare you accuse us… get out, we're breaking up with all of you!" then the girls left. Leaving them with the baby.

Romana: Okay...that was quick.

Me: I posted the entire first chapter. And it's fail. And that thing that Shadow said....wtf? Of course we are going to accude you! There's a baby and a note you player!

Romana: Chapter two!

This baby girl was a hedgehog with white fur but with the slightest shade of a purple pink she had on a tiny green shirt with a teddy bear picture on it and green bottoms also her quills went down to her shoulders.

Romana: At last a description!

Me: It's silver's. He should have modified her so she could have been any of theirs.

"What do we do with her?" asked Shadow, "I think we have to feed it" answered Sonic, "Let's see what's in the fridge" said Silver and then he opened the fridge. "Pizza?" asked Sonic, "For God's sake, she's a baby" answered Silver, "Alcohol?" asked Shadow, "She's not the legal age yet" answered Silver. "You buy the baby food while I take a nap" said Shadow before leaving the two, "I'll also take a nap" said Sonic before leaving. "Fine" Silver said before having the few sips of Alcohol that were left "How difficult can it be to buy baby food?" he asked himself.


Romana: They arent even mentioning the 'Who's is it'.

Me: Is that all you can point out that's wrong here?! I mean, its not even humor. It's dumb. Pizza? Alchohol? WTF?

Romana: Silver's roommates just left him.

Me: Yeah. But that last sentence was unexcuseable.

Stacks of different baby products everywhere nappies, bottles etc. All this was making Silver dizzy 'till he saw a girl hedgehog holding her baby and he asked

"Is this your baby?"

Romana: At least one of them has sort of a brain.

Me: After that he talks with her knowing next to nothing and she tells him what to do.

Romana: But the dialouge was confuzzing.....

"Silver your back" said Sonic, "Yeah I got nappies, a bottle, food…" replied Silver "Are the biscuits and juice for her?" asked Shadow who found those items in the shopping bag, "No there for us" answered Silver. "How do we prepare the food?" asked Shadow, "Man, it's nothing just open this, mix it with cream and milk and…"replied Silver as he tried to open it, he opened it but something unexpected happened.

Me: No explanation, no interesting characterization, just, 'At their apartment'.

Romana: They fail.

Me: I'm not going to go into detail about how poorly writen that was.

Romana: CH3!

A white sort of powder came on Silver's face which was most likely the baby mixture

Romana: *gags*

Me: NOOOOO ITS NOT THE BABY MIXTURE!!!!! itS DRIED UP SEMEN FROM LAST NIGHT!!!!

Romana: All he needed to do was use scissors...

Me: Cue irresponsible powder fight and then....

Everyone stopped and looked at the baby who was crying badly, then everyone started preparing the food they kept feeding her and feeding her and she didn't look full so they kept on feeding her until they were so tired they fell on the couch and dozed off.


Romana: Feed me Seymour!!!

Me: MOST EPIC RESPONCE EVER! *pets romana for being a good snarker*

Romana: Purrrrrr

Me: Now then...Let's snark this. The baby is a bottomless pit...the food is bottomless too...repetition...and such irresponsibility. WTF. They got tired of 'feeding' and feel asleep again? Weren't sonic and shadow just asleep?

Romana: Fail plot-element repetition.

It says here she needs to be feed this every 2 hours, is that before or after?...because it takes 2 hours to feed this THING!"

Romana: Not if you're not a failure! Three men cant fill a baby in 2 hours?

Me: Sounds wrong.

Everyone was silent until Sonic slapped Silver and said loudly in an angry voice "Why do you do such things?"

Me: WTF

What?" asked Silver before Sonic made a farting noise and then everyone smelt it. "It's her" declared Shadow pointing to the baby before the baby made a guilty face.

Me: Nice.

Romana: He should have put a smell sentence before the hitting silver bit.

Me: I'm done for now after this chapter. I'll do the rest tomorrow.

"Change her underwear before I bang you up Sonic!" shouted Shadow which made Sonic listen as he removed the nappy which was covered in poop.

Me: I bet it was.

He walked over to the bin but then slipped on a banana peel making the nappy fly in the air

Romana: Cliche.

Me: They had fruits like bananas in the house? and they at the same time were too irresponsible to throw it away?

Romana: They deserve what they are about to get.

as it flew Shadow waved his hands to signal "No! Don't fall on me!" while Silver waved his hands next to Shadow to signal "Fall on Shadow"

Romana: *hiss*

Me: Yes! I love it! Waving your hands as if to alter the direction of an impending disaster will definately help! Especially if you have enough time to dodge since you're like..the fastest hedgies alive!

Romana: And Silver has telekenisis!

Me: He could have changed her with his powers!

When there was no time left Shadow turned his face and said in a flash "No!" For 5 seconds everyone was silent but when Shadow turned to see Silver he was grossed out as the nappy fell right on Silver. Silver started crying as he said "Shi-hi-it"

Romana: And Silver has telekenisis!

Me: He could have changed her with his powers!

Romana: Fail!

Me: he 'said in a flash'? he could have dodged in a flash!

Romana: that's chappy 3 out of 4. Epicly bad fic.

Me: Good premise but terrible execution.

Romana: Laughs were just....awkward and put in in ways and places that made them fail.

Me: Well...that's it for us!

Romana: I'm a flareon!
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Re: Echo the hedgehog's snarks are not like your snarks: A T rated Sonicfic.

Post by The Administrator on Wed Aug 25, 2010 6:21 pm

Echo~the~Hedgehog wrote:
Romana: Feed me Seymour!!!

Me: MOST EPIC RESPONCE EVER! *pets romana for being a good snarker*

Okay, that WAS pretty epic. This is pretty good for a first snark. Better than mine was.
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Re: Echo the hedgehog's snarks are not like your snarks: A T rated Sonicfic.

Post by Sirius on Wed Aug 25, 2010 7:11 pm

I agree with Admin, that was an epic response. And this was pretty good for a first snark.
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Re: Echo the hedgehog's snarks are not like your snarks: A T rated Sonicfic.

Post by Echo~the~Hedgehog on Wed Aug 25, 2010 7:39 pm

Me: lol thanx guys. ^^

Romana: I have my moments. ^^
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Re: Echo the hedgehog's snarks are not like your snarks: A T rated Sonicfic.

Post by Sirius on Wed Aug 25, 2010 8:12 pm

Credit where it's due, Echo. Hoping to see more from you, and hopefully that Flareon, too.
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Re: Echo the hedgehog's snarks are not like your snarks: A T rated Sonicfic.

Post by Echo~the~Hedgehog on Wed Aug 25, 2010 8:14 pm

Me: lol thanks.

Romana: ^_^ Most people dont appreciate me like that! *rubs agianst your leg*
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Re: Echo the hedgehog's snarks are not like your snarks: A T rated Sonicfic.

Post by Sirius on Wed Aug 25, 2010 8:22 pm

D'awww... How adorable... *pets Romana*
Aisha: Heh...
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Re: Echo the hedgehog's snarks are not like your snarks: A T rated Sonicfic.

Post by Echo~the~Hedgehog on Sat Aug 28, 2010 2:58 pm

Romana: *is on the ground* Ughh....I cant......im sorry.....go on without me!

Me: *tries to lift her offf the ground but is so weak* Come on! Live it up while you can! *drops her.* Oh....so weak.....now we all loose in the end....

Romana:....and we dont get another shot.....

*both die*

Romana:....

Me: Now that that's over we can get down to the reason for our premature wake.

Romana: *eats one of the lilies at the funeral*

Me: I'm not even going to post that shit. I'll just sumarize.

They woke up and tried to annoy the baby. But then they went up to the apartment's roof where they got the mail from the mailman. Inside was a letter stating that Blaze's father told Blaze her baby died but he kept it. Blaze got married and that's why he dumped the baby on it's father, Silver. Silver remembered that he seduced Blaze. He went all the way. (He had her)

That last two sentences were the exact words of the author.

Romana: Sex Repetition fail.

Me: So the boys took care of her for an unkown amount of time, anywhere from hours to days to weeks. He doesnt say. So they decide eventually that it wasnt fair to dump the child on them. So they left the doorstep child on the doorstep and went to a bar.

Romana: WTF?

Me: 3 adult men couldn't take care of a baby?

Romana: So....bad of them....

Me: Isnt sonic a hero?

Romana: That was just fail. It wasn't even funny at the end.

Me: He hasnt updated it yet. He probably finished it and didnt mark 'complete'.

Romana: Pee on his shoes!!

["Why be quiet for this devil…TALK Loudly!"]

Me: WTF

Romana: SHE'S AN INFANT NOT A DEVIL SHADOW!!!!

Me: That's it. Im done!

Romana: *kicks dirt onto the fic*
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Re: Echo the hedgehog's snarks are not like your snarks: A T rated Sonicfic.

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