Echo the hedgehog hs terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.

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Echo the hedgehog hs terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.

Post by Echo~the~Hedgehog on Sat Nov 13, 2010 9:02 am

As far as snarking goes, I am not one for exploring pisspoor storys. But every now and again I'll do it.

*summons Romana*

Let's begin.

I stared at May all through lunch that day.. She was so... Well, the
only way to describe her was... Hot!

Me: what is the setting?

Romana: A school I bet.

She was the most beautiful person I had
ever met... Except for Misty,

Me: thoughts?

Romana: either a threesome or a writer-fanboy troll.

but she'd broken up with me a while ago after
we got in a fight. She still traveled with us, though.

Me: ...

Romana: Not a school?....

'I should make my move
soon....' I thought to myself. '... Before she gets taken by another guy.
But... How?'

Romana: '...' failure.


I thought for a minute, then decided to ask for help.

Me: classic troll-snark sentence; so awful you cant say why.

I finally

Me: repeating thy self.


decided that Brock was my only hope. After lunch, I tapped Brock's shoulder.
"Uh... Hey Brock, can I talk to you alone for a minute?" I asked. "Sure,
Ash."

Romana: Ash? this is Ash?

Me: Makes sence...but he said Misty's there too.

romana: Threesome?

Me: fail writing maybe. But not threesome.

Her face was laughing

Romana: face laughing? Its getting worse!

Me: He went to brock for advise and Misty who shouldnt be there is coming in?

Romana: Kill me now.

but I could tell by the way her eyes were that she was hurt. I decided to
think nothing of it.

Me: she broke up with him. and she's hurt?

Romana: threeeesommmmmme

"Over in your tent. It's the farthest away from May's."

Me: love tutoring by misty at night in a tent?

Romana: thre-

Me: dont say it!

That night, around 7, while May was getting ready to hit the hay, Misty
and I met in my tent. "So Ash, you like May, do you?" Misty matter-of-factly
asked. "Uh... Yeah." I said, blushing slightly. Pikachu ran into the tent, a
big grin on its face. "Pika pi, pikachu pika pi pika chu! (Ha ha, Ash, I knew
you liked May!)," the mouse squeaked. I blushed a little harder and looked
down. "Come on, Pikachu, if you want you can help me with this... Didn't you
mate with a Raichu a while ago*? Now it was Pikachu's turn to blush, but
Pikachus blush a little different... See, because they already have dark red
cheeks, when they blush, little bits of electricity burst out, not enough to
do anything but a static shock. "Ow! Pikachu!" I scolded. "Anyway," I said,
turning to Misty, "Whats my first lesson?" "That'd be asking her out," she
replied. All that night she taught me some effective pick-up lines and how to
ask a girl out. We practiced with eachother. It felt... Right. Like I was
doing something wrong before.

Romana: blah blah blah worst foreshadowing ever.

Me: This was clearly written by a nine year old kid who looks at porn but never actually kissed a girl.

Romana: It's all about drugs sex and money isnt it?

Me: Age gap much?

Romana: Pikachu mated with a Raichu o.0

Me: This is shit. Truely shit.

Romana: Threesome.

Me: A threesome might improve it actually....

After that night, I started getting an odd feeling in my stomach when
we practiced short good-bye hugs. A rather embarrasing thing happened that I
thank god Misty didn't notice... You can probably figure it out yourself ~.^
I had trouble getting to sleep that night. That feeling was getting stronger.

Me: FUCK! FUCK!

Romana: I'M BLEEEEEEEEEEEEDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING

Me: He used the word 'you'! He broke the 4th wall!

Romana: You knew this was comming after that crack about Misty having feelings for him. threesome!

Me: No threesome!

Romana: The usual bet?

Me: what the hell? You know I dont go for that.

Romana: pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!

Me: no!

The second-to-last night of 'class' was the second-to-best. Our almost
final lesson was... Kissing. That's right, Kissing. Frenching. First Base.
Whatever you want to call it, tonights lesson was making out.

Me: It's odd when this happens. And this is when you KNOW it was written by a 14 year old kid who touches himself and has never kissed a girl.

Romana: They repeat it over and over again like it was taboo or something.....

I walked in
the tent as usual, not knowing the amazing time I was about to have. "Ash,
this is almost your last lesson," she said. "It's a... Very special one. The
lesson is..." She blushed heavily. "Kissing." I stared at her in amazement.
Was she serious? "Ash... Are you OK?" she asked. I noticed that my face was
glowing redder than fire, so I looked away quickly. "Uh - Yeah, i'm fine,
Mist." I blushed even harder. "Um... Ready to - uh - practice?" I stuttered.
Misty's face turned hotter than a Charizard's fireblast. "Sure," she said. We
brought our heads together, caressing each other's heads, our tounges dancing
more powerfully than a thousand Ludicolo. I pulled away first. "H-how w-was
that?" I asked. "Excellent!" Misty exclaimed**.

Me: That was sex?

Romana: He said it was making out then it started? Like a flashback?

Me: I didnt see a flashback...

Romana: woof.....
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Re: Echo the hedgehog hs terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.

Post by Echo~the~Hedgehog on Sat Nov 13, 2010 10:00 am

The last night of the class... Amazing. Completely amazing. This night was
the whole reason I am where I am today; half of the Pokemon League Champ-duo,
paired with Misty.

Me: What? What is this?

Romana: What is this shit? What is this plot devise?

Me: It makes me vomit in my own mouth just to think about it.

As I walked into the tent, I realized that Misty was lying on my
sleeping bag, wearing only a bra and panties. I was shocked, and instantly a
lump rose in my pants. "M-Misty! What are you doing?!" I exclaimed. "Think
about it, Ash," Misty said seductively. "First, asking her out... Then
hugging... Kissing.... What else could come next but this?" "You don't mean-"
"What else, you idiot?" I half-walked, half stumbled to my sleeping bag.

Me: Idiot.

Romana: Idiot.

Me: Practise having sex? She CLEARLY wants him for herself!

Romana: This makes no sence.

"Come on then, be a little braver," she told me. Still a little unsure
of myself, I started taking off her shirt... "For God's sakes Ash! You have
to be agressive!"

Me: *pretends to be ash* B-But how can I be agressive? T.T The shirt im taking off isnt even there!

Romana: he went from almost naked to wearing a shirt?

Trying to be as good as possible, I took hold of Misty's
shirt and ripped it off of her. Next came her bra. The lump in my pants grew
to twice the size when I saw her massive globes. "Misty - They're huge! M-may
I..." "Yes! Please, go ahead!" So, I put my mouth over her right nipple,
pinching and rubbing her left. Misty moaned rather loudly. "Sssshhhhhhh," I
whispered. "You'll wake Brock and May." Keeping my hands over both her
nipples, I went up to her mouth, and started frenching her like i'd learned
the night before. The lump was so big it was starting to hurt. Misty
continued to moan, while I worked my way down to her waist. "May I?" I asked
with a dirty smirk. "Of course, feast, fine knight!" she giggled.

Me: Words during sex are always a little awkward for virgins but this is rediculous.

Romana: Feast fine knight?

Me: slut...I bet she isnt even a virgin...
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Re: Echo the hedgehog hs terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.

Post by Echo~the~Hedgehog on Sat Nov 13, 2010 11:02 am

I ripped off her panties and inserted my toungue into her crater. In,
out, in out... Just like an Ekans' toungue. She brought her pillow over her
face to stifle the moans and wails. I got past the vagina, into her moist
clitorous, and found the magic spot. "MMPH YSHH! (OOH YES!)", Misty screamed,
still stifling herself with her pillow. I suddenly felt a blast of warm fluid
on my face. I retracted my tongue and licked my lips. "Tasty," I grinned. I
licked her nether-regions clean, then asked, "Would you like to sample some
sausage, M'Lady?"

Romana: Misty should get that looked at by someone.....

Me: Poor Misty....her Gspot and clitoris is inside her uteris..

Romana: The () wasnt necesary. Never is.

Me: And the talking is so...poor....virgins...

Romana: Her Vagina must be very small if his tounge can reach her uteris...

Me: lol nether regions.....

Romana: Dont even read this next part...

She nodded, and I kneel down next to her. She teased me for
a bit, getting out all the precum, then went directly for a deepthroat. I was
moaning so hard, I had to grab Misty's pillow and stifle myself. "Misty! I-I-
" "It's Okay Ash, I want to taste you." I shrugged and, moaning fiercely into
the pillow, let my load loose into her mouth. "You taste sweet," she said,
"Now how about you on top?" I nodded quickly and slowly made my way in. When
I was in, I started slow then accelerated. Misty's grunts grew louder, so I
handed her the pillow. "MISTY!!!!" I cried. "I'M GONNA CUM!" "YES!" Misty
screamed. "GIVE ME A PART OF YOU!" We both climaxed at the same time, and
collapsed on eachother, exhausted.

Romana: Give me a part of you?

Me: Pillows and screaming?

Romana: It breaks all the rules.....and in a bad way.....

We've been that way for 4 years. We have 4 children, Brock, named after our
old friend, Simon, Francis, and Susan. We live in a very wealthy neighborhood
in Saffron. Me and Misty got married five years later, when I was 19 and she
was 21.

Me: I hate this story.

Romana: Blech. Named the children? wtf?

Me:wtf?

Romana: A threesome would have been better...

Me: I'm not into threesomes but I agree......
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Re: Echo the hedgehog hs terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.

Post by The Administrator on Wed Nov 17, 2010 7:25 pm

Brave, brave Echo! Nice work! This is probably my worst fic ever, and it is indeed the first one I ever wrote.
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Re: Echo the hedgehog hs terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.

Post by Echo~the~Hedgehog on Wed Nov 17, 2010 7:29 pm

Thanks!

Tell me, Im just genuinely curious. did you actually have a complete knowledge of the female genitalia when you wrote that? Because....you called the uteris (which he was somehow able to reach) the clitoris and said he G spot was in it.
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Re: Echo the hedgehog hs terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.

Post by Sirius on Wed Nov 17, 2010 7:35 pm

And that, Admin, is why I don't dare to snark a fic by you.
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Re: Echo the hedgehog hs terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.

Post by Echo~the~Hedgehog on Wed Nov 17, 2010 7:41 pm

too terrible?
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Re: Echo the hedgehog hs terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.

Post by The Administrator on Wed Nov 17, 2010 7:41 pm

Hey, Echo was brave, unlike you.

Also, speaking of Echo, to answer your question, no. I was nine, what do you expect? All I had to go on were almost-equally-badly-written lemons on The Pokemon Tower.
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Re: Echo the hedgehog hs terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.

Post by Echo~the~Hedgehog on Wed Nov 17, 2010 7:42 pm

Well I just thought people who write lemons have at least looked up the mechanics. XD
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Re: Echo the hedgehog hs terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.

Post by The Administrator on Wed Nov 17, 2010 7:44 pm

Maybe teenagers do, but do you honestly expect a 9-year-old to look that shit up? MOMMY MIGHT FIND OUT.
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Re: Echo the hedgehog hs terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.

Post by Echo~the~Hedgehog on Wed Nov 17, 2010 7:46 pm

Mommy might find out that your writting about cartoon characters having screaming orgasms. XD

"Son....when did you start spelling 'come' with a U?"
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Re: Echo the hedgehog hs terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.

Post by The Administrator on Wed Nov 17, 2010 7:52 pm

That particular one you can blame on the other awful writers at TPT.
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Re: Echo the hedgehog hs terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.

Post by Sirius on Wed Nov 17, 2010 8:07 pm

Hey, Admin, I was not bein' cowardly or anything. I was being smart. Why bother with your shit, if I didn't find it and there are others to do it justice?
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Re: Echo the hedgehog hs terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.

Post by The Administrator on Wed Nov 17, 2010 8:08 pm

Meh, true.
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Re: Echo the hedgehog hs terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.

Post by Echo~the~Hedgehog on Thu Nov 18, 2010 8:57 am

OMG
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Re: Echo the hedgehog hs terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.

Post by The Administrator on Thu Nov 18, 2010 1:10 pm

...What?
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Re: Echo the hedgehog hs terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.

Post by Echo~the~Hedgehog on Thu Nov 18, 2010 2:22 pm

I read broken bonds....
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Re: Echo the hedgehog hs terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.

Post by The Administrator on Thu Nov 18, 2010 2:51 pm

Wow, I completely forgot about that one. I don't even remember how awful it is.
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Re: Echo the hedgehog hs terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.

Post by Echo~the~Hedgehog on Thu Nov 18, 2010 3:29 pm

I will snark it soon.
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Re: Echo the hedgehog hs terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.

Post by Godmodder Studios on Sat Nov 20, 2010 1:52 am

Hey Echo, don't you know how to do the quote boxes?
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Re: Echo the hedgehog hs terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.

Post by Echo~the~Hedgehog on Sat Nov 20, 2010 4:54 pm

I do but I was too lazy. XD
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Re: Echo the hedgehog hs terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.

Post by Godmodder Studios on Sat Nov 20, 2010 4:55 pm

...

*walks up, smacks, walks off*
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Re: Echo the hedgehog hs terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.

Post by Vingle on Sat Dec 04, 2010 9:51 pm

Admin's really 14? o.O

We're about the same age then. Holy shit.

affraid
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Re: Echo the hedgehog hs terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.

Post by The Administrator on Sat Dec 04, 2010 10:36 pm

You didn't notice that?
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Re: Echo the hedgehog hs terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.

Post by Vingle on Sat Dec 04, 2010 10:52 pm

I thought you were faking the age or something.

>.>
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Re: Echo the hedgehog hs terrible claws and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws.

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