tysons pokemon adventure; Yes, THAT Tyson again...

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tysons pokemon adventure; Yes, THAT Tyson again...

Post by Sirius on Thu Mar 11, 2010 7:46 pm

Wow, two snarks in two days, that's gotta be a new record. Anyway, I'm back to review Tyson's newest failfic, 'tysons pokemon adventure' So, yeah, let's just dive in...
Chapter 1: Chapter 1
What, no title that pretty much tells the focus of the chapter? Oh well, too bad... So, appearantly, Ash and May married and had a kid. Guess what his name is? If you guessed Tyson, you're smarter than a fifth grader! But, seriously, yes, Tyson is Ash Jr.'s name. I hope to God he's not another clone... Two Ashes is two too many. So, Tyson get's called down for breakfast, and...
"tyson time to get some breakfeast" her mom called

"yes mom im coming" tyson said

"well thats my mom may ketchum" tyson siad smiling
Who is he talking to? Seriously, who? Is he narrating? Is he talking to himself? Oh well, no time for explaining, as he heads downstairs and...
"sit down and eat if yu wana get youre first pokemon" said may( his mom)

"ok"tyson siad

"so have you decided youre first pokemon" his father (ash ketchum)said
Thank you, Tyson, 'cuase you didn't clearly state the parents in the summary or state that May's the mom not two fucking seconds ago. So, he tries to decide what pokemon he wants. And then... He leaves. He goes to GARY Oak's lab (I never thought Gary was smart enough to be a professor, but whatever), and says...
"i know il choose........
End of chapter. Thank you for the cliffhanger. I was really eager to find out which pokemon he was going to get, but I guess I'll have to wait to find out. Next chapter.
Chapter 2
So, the kid chooses Charmander, and Robin asks for a Squirtle. Who's Robin, you ask? Well, get this... He's Gary's SON. Now, I think Gary's not smart enough to be a professor, but I KNOW he would never have a kid. Too much of an immature, annoying douchebag to get a girl. Maybe he adopted. Yeah, let's go with that. So, Tyson, being the hero, threatens to kill Robin for calling him loser. How wonderful. Well, after Robin gets his Squirtle, dumbshit Tyson still goes with Charmander. I, personally, would have gone with Bulbasaur so I would have the type advantage, but what I would do doesn't really matter, eh? Let's continue.
"here r youre six pokeballs and youre pokedex" said professor oak

"thanx professor oak bye" Tyson said running

"yes now ill soon be a pokemon master and beat robin ones and for all" said Tyson

"wow a pokemon" said tyson

"ill check ut the pokedex" said Tyson
1) Gary's a little nice, don'tcha think? I don't think Professor Oak gives you all that when you start out in the games...
2) I thought I'd be used to the constant grammar and spelling fails, but I'm not.
3) There he goes, talking to himself again. Does he do this often?
4) Be consistant. Either capitalize all the names or none of them, don't interchange.
Anyway, he and his Charmander fight and capture a Pidgey.
and that's how Tyson caught its second pokemon with hes new rival what will happen in the next chapter
*sigh* Alright, I'm making another list...
1) Tyson's an 'it'? I thought he was a boy, not an 'it', but that shows what I know.
2) Don't you mean, 'with his new partner?' I'm pretty sure he didn't catch the Pidgey with Gary's adopted son...
3) I really wish I didn't have to find out what will happen in the next chapter, but I started this, and I'm gonna finish it.
Chapter 3
So, Tys talks to himself some more and hears something in the bushes. And, no, it's not a pokemon. It's a badly hurt little girl. She faints, and he continues to talk to himself. He takes her to the pokemon center, which is convinient, because she is NOT a pokemon. Don't they have hospitals for people anymore? Anyway...
" joy I need youre help I found this girl in the woods and she was badly hurt" Tyson said preoccupied

"really I see what I can do" joy said

one hour later……………

"shes okey " said joey

"shes okey awesome can I go see her" said Tyson

"im sorry but shes sleeping right now"said joey

"okey I think ill go to sleep to" said Tyson

"heres youre room" said joey

"thanx"

the next morning…………………………

"so how is she joey" Tyson asked

"shes okey you can go see her now" said joey

" I think ill go" said Tyson

" o joey I almost forgot something" Tyson said

"what is it" joey said

"can you take care of my pokemon please" said Tyson

"shure" said joey
...List number 3...
1) Her name is Joy not Joey. It wasn't even a simple typo, he constantly calls her Joey. What the hell?
2) She's just gonna let them stay for free? Doesn't she need to charge them? If not, does she even get paid for this?
3) Why do you need her to take care of your Chamander now? Why couldn't you have her do that while you were sleeping, so when you awoke, you'd be able to leave immediately. And if Charm doesn't need healing, why do you need her to watch him? Is it that difficult to carry him in the pokeball?
Fuck it, let's just keep going... So, the girl's name is Zoey. She says she was attacked by bullies. What kind of demonspawn would beat the shit out of a little girl, injuring her to the point that she needed to be taken to the hospital? You know what, fuck it, I don't care. Let's just get this over with. So, Zoey wants to be a grass pokemon trainer. And she joins Tys... for...some...reason... And they head off to Pewter. Next chapter.
Chapter 4
Now, this chapter's in all itallics. Why? I don't know or care. I'll summarize the entire chapter in four short sentences.
Tys catches a male Nidoran. They eat. They set up camp. They leave.
That's the end of the chapter and the end of the story so far. Thank God. Until next time, amigos.
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Re: tysons pokemon adventure; Yes, THAT Tyson again...

Post by The Administrator on Thu Mar 11, 2010 7:54 pm

Actually as per canon a la Advanced Battle: Frontier, Gary IS a professor.
But still, he's still just a Prof. Gary Stu (See what I did there?).
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Re: tysons pokemon adventure; Yes, THAT Tyson again...

Post by Sirius on Thu Mar 11, 2010 7:58 pm

Huh... I still find it hard to believe Gary's a porf. though...
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Re: tysons pokemon adventure; Yes, THAT Tyson again...

Post by The Administrator on Thu Mar 11, 2010 8:05 pm

Porf dorf, you're a tree?
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Re: tysons pokemon adventure; Yes, THAT Tyson again...

Post by Sirius on Thu Mar 11, 2010 8:11 pm

Whoops, my bad. Prof.
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Re: tysons pokemon adventure; Yes, THAT Tyson again...

Post by The Administrator on Thu Mar 11, 2010 8:31 pm

Problem, officer?
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Re: tysons pokemon adventure; Yes, THAT Tyson again...

Post by Godmodder Studios on Thu Mar 11, 2010 8:52 pm

You do seem to have a habit of finding the worst of the worst, don't you? XD
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Re: tysons pokemon adventure; Yes, THAT Tyson again...

Post by Sirius on Fri Mar 12, 2010 6:52 pm

I don't know if that's a good thing or not... Ah, well, it gives me reason to post here, so I guess it's not all bad.
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