Tails on His Own - except for the part where he NEVER IS (NWS)

[I originally posted this snark here ]

Well... I've never done snark before, but I've been given some encouragement, so.... *rolls up sleeves* Let the mind-melting begin.

This M-Rated STH fanfic, called Tails on his own (ah, doesn't the title already have you anticipating glorious chronicles on the level of the Illiad?), is about... Well, death, sex, and adventure, I suppose. Nice. :munch: I like death, sex, and adventure. Who doesn't like -

excuse me some of the english not that well followed by gramer

- :unskilled78: We're doomed.

Though I do like the little smiley face. It says, "Please, Mr. Flamer, sir. Don't be so mean."

So after a 3 sentence battle versus the "Robotnik robot bots" (because robots and bots are obviously two different things) in which Tails short-circuits everything with a squirt of semen (yes, it happened), we get this little number:

sonic I think its blooming whispered Tails and then Sonic look at tails pants and saw his penis stick straight up wards into the sky. Sonic than felt bit horny and wanted to suck Tailss cock bad. Maybe you should take them off, those pants said sonic.

So, ignoring the lack of quotation marks, or any punctuations besides periods for that matter, we have the word "blooming" to describe an erection.

"Sonic, my penis is growing flowers!" :flirty:

... :spock:

On another note, when did Tails start wearing pants? And how exactly could his penis "bloom" towards the sky with said pants proving restriction? Quite the humdinger.

But let's continue... :blowjob: happens. There ya go.

But, wait! There's a twist! Upon climaxing ("after maybe 14 17 minute"), Sonic dies. Yes. Dies.

But wait! There's another twist! Upon... Well, I'll just let you read for yourself.

Sonic faint onto the ground underneath him and stop the breathing. Sonic died. Tails morned his loss. After mornung, Tails got horny again and had sex with Sonic corpse.

Um... :notforyou: One) Shortest period of mourning ever. And two) whaddafuck?

Aaaaaaaaaanyway........

Behind the bushes near there were Scratch and Grounder spectatating what was happened. Ho oh hoh oh this looks nice said Scratch. Yeah replied grounder. They started maturbating to tails having sex with Sonic dead corpse. Theyre metal cocks were rubbed over and over. After a few they came oil since robots don't have cum.

:circlefap:

Phew. Thanks for explaining that to me. I never would've guessed that robots didn't have "cum" (i.e. sperm.) Though, I didn't know they were equipped with cocks either. Though Scratch IS a rooster. :rimshot:

>.> Shut up. It was funny in my head.

After Scratch "went and pulled out his gun and started shoting at tails who was still inside Sonic dead corpse" (because not all corpses are already dead), Tails ran away to the planet city of Mobius, where he decided to sleep in a dumpster.

Huh... Seeing how his tails were shot (preventing him from flying) I think I would rather sleep in a hospital bed. But, sure. Getting shanked by a hobo is pretty convenient too, I guess. To be fair, Tails did try a hotel of sorts. But the cost of one night was "586 mobiums" and who has that kinda money?

Tails just remembered that he didn't got any more money but sonic did and he died already.

"Well, darn! I raped his corpse, but all that shooting made me forget all about robbing his corpse! Silly me." :excited:

But, wait, the plot returns as Scratch and Grounder arrive on the plane in the city of Mobius. Sadly, they were unable to find the wiley fox, Tails. As Grounder so succinctly puts it,

Where might he have go

Me dunno. Mebbe he go dattaway! :

Once they fall into "sleep time" Tails is prompt enough to hop out of the dumpster and sees them. Which means... Scratch and Grounder came upon the exact dumpster Tails had hidden in and didn't notice. ...:sloth:

But, seeing them, Tails does the only smart thing he can think of! That's right, kids, breaking and entering! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!! :weird:

Little he known that that house was belonging to Breezie. Tails turned around and saw breezie stepping out of her shower complete naked and nude. Her breast were about a d and tails could not not see them.

So, not only has Breezie figured out how to be naked AND nude, she's able to do both and still conceal D-cups. That is some amazing talent, right there.

But those D's open Tails's eyes to a whole new world of bisexuality and they, at her insistence, go upstairs to her bedroom. Meaning her shower is on the bottom floor. Meaning whoever built the house SCREWED UP.

She then got up and went to sat onto Tails and rided Tails. She let out louder moans and hair went flingy.

"Oh, Breezie, your hair! It's so flingy! Like - hurk!" :splooge:

At which point, Tails "came again impregnating Breezie with his cum"

Nine months later, a baby sperm was born.

THE END.








Or so we would all wish.
Scratch and Grounder burst in while Breezie and Tails "maked out," shot Tails in the forehead, and then Grounder proceeds to RIP BREEZIE'S HEAD OFF, before going back to Robotnik's fortress like good little Robotnik robot bots.

ENDING

......... :headshot:

Oh wow! I bet you could be like the "Nostalgia Critic" or "Angry Video Game Nerd" or "Linkara" of bad fanfiction!

The Pissed-off Fanfic Judge! Layin down the law... of good taste!

The fact that you just compared me to Nostalgia Critic makes me love you
<3

Wow. Comparison is a bit exagerated, but I say she did a good job.

I'd say she's more along the lines of Linkara.

StarShineDC wrote:The fact that you just compared me to Nostalgia Critic makes me love you
<3

And not the AVGN?

Ooooh shit... I don't like the vibes in here...

Yeah.......
I would've loved it if the NC had won the Final Battle and not been a tie...
I mean... All AVGN does is swear mindlessly
NC swears, but... Not like that

And it's not like I mind swearing; it's when it's stupid that I get annoyed

Ditto. AVGN would be good if he didn't swear so much.

*nods*
I knew I liked you, Ultima

StarShineDC wrote:Yeah.......
I would've loved it if the NC had won the Final Battle and not been a tie...
I mean... All AVGN does is swear mindlessly
NC swears, but... Not like that

And it's not like I mind swearing; it's when it's stupid that I get annoyed

WHAT THE ASSFUCK are you talking about, the SHITFACED ASSMASTER doesn't swear that MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MUCH.

Alex............ dude. lol.

If you watched AVGN's review of a movie vs. NC's review of a videogame, you'd be dry-humping NC all over the place

Maybe. But AVGN is still better at game reviews.
And now if we could kindly continue any further arguments on MSN and stop scaring away potential members...

What's wrong with arguing on a forum?

I meant we should try to leave the majority of the arguing to the steadily-growing Sonic Central community.
(Which, by the way, has reached an ASTOUNDING 10 members - Thanks Star!)

I see your point
lol