Ties That Bind: Where it couldn't get more obvious that the writer hates Sesshomaru

Ohai

Welcome back everyone, today we review the bashfic, Ties that bind.

This is an Inuyasha and Rurouni Kenshin crossover. It's also only 6 chapters long.

By bashfic, I mean that it is blatantly obvious that the writer completely despises everything about Sesshomaru, so the writer has completely bastardized him and turned him into a complete monster with no redeemable features and who's only desire is to obtain power, no matter the cost to anyone else.

Also, PEDOPHILIA IS OK SO LONG AS IT IS TWU WUV!

Permission to cringe granted, people.

On with the show people!

Chapter 1: Nina

"You do realize you marry Miroku in seven days?" "I'm afraid I'll be a disappointment to Miroku. He deserves to have a woman who is a gentle breeze. Someone who can cook and do the fan dance, and is graceful. Not a half demon who loves to hunt and acts like a hurricane." Inuyasha smiled. That was just like his daughter. Putting the feelings of others ahead of herself. She was his pride and joy.

Aaaand, cue cringing.

First off, allow me to introduce you to our Mary-Sue, Nina. Daughter of Inuyasha and Kagome. She is kind, considerate, and puts everyone before herself. Naturally, everyone loves her.

Secondly, she is going to marry Miroku. Where's Sango in all this you might ask? Don't worry, that will be answered in a later chapter. You won't like it.

Next chapter!

Chapter 2: Worlds Collide



In this chapter we learn that Miroku likes his girls young, real young.

"Inuyasha, I love Nina more than you'll ever know. I know you disapprove of the huge age difference. Me being 37 and Nina a tender age of 17. But, I do love her."

A wondrous 20 year difference. Of course, Inuyasha and KAGOME OF THE LATE 20TH CENTURY allow him to court and marry a girl that is not only still a minor, BUT 20 YEARS HIS JUNIOR simply because they are in love.

In America, we call this 'statutory rape', aka, jail-bait.

Yep, feel free to call bullshit on that. You know, the least this writer could do is make her legal...

Also, SUBPLOT!

"Sango, why did you leave me?" Nina was shocked. She shook Miroku until he awoke. He looked at her and knew that she was visibly upset. "Nina, love, What's wrong?" "Who the hell is Sango?" Miroku stood up. "Nina, I should have told you. Sango was a woman I once loved. She was killed by Naruku while attempting to retrieve the Shikon jewel. It was because of her bravery that the curse of my wind tunnel was broken." "Did you choose me to replace her?" "No , Nina. It's not like that. I love you. You are bright spot in my world.

Yep, the writer's explanation for why Sango isn't around is because she died during the last battle against Naraku.

Basic sublot synopses:

Nina: Am I replacement for Sango?
Miroku: Of course not, I love you.

Copy and past until the resolution.

And now to summarize the ending text brick:

Sesshomaru: I shall trade Kenshin's family for Kagome for only a Shaolin Priestess can make me powerful without using the Shikon Jewel.
Kagome: k
Nina: NO! I shall heroically sacrifice myself for my family!
Sesshomaru: k
Innuyasha: But what about Miroku?
Nina: NO! I shall heroically sacrifice myself for my family! *looks at Miroku*
Nina: Am I replacement for Sango?
Miroku: Of course not, I love you. *kisses her*
Nina: *to everyone* Don't follow me and save me, ok?
Sesshomaru: Gottagonowbie! *grabs her and leaves*
Everyone: NUUUU!
Kagome: We must save her!
Kauru: Want some company while the men go save Nina?
Kagome: Sure! ^^
Kenshin, Miroku, & Inuyasha: Okloveyoubiebie! *whoosh, and away*

End chapter

Chapter 3: A brother's greed and a father's rage

Did he love her, or was he still in love with Sango?

See, told ya.

Also, we get more insight into their relationship! Umm...whoo?

Sure there was a massive age difference. But Miroku had been gentle with her. She'd wanted to run away with him, but Miroku was the one who suggested that they stand before the shrine. Her father was less than thrilled.

So it was Miroku's idea to get married.

...No comment.

Perhaps it was Miroku's flirtatious attitude towards women.

Or maybe it's because he's 20 years your senior you stupid teenager!

And how come it's Inuyasha that makes the most noise about this? I would've thought it would have been Kagome, because I highly doubt it is legal for 37 year olds to marry 17 year olds in her era.

I could be wrong though, so you Japanese folk don't hesitate to correct me.

P.S. The writer of this story is American. Another reason why I have issues with this.

At that moment, Sesshomaru walked in. "Very unselfish of you. Taking the place of the little priestess. However, here is the problem. The scroll says I must mate with the priestess. You are Inuyasha's daughter. But if I must mate with you to be more powerful, then I will." "But you can't! I'm the daughter of your brother. Your niece!" Sesshomaru retorted, "Inuyasha is a stain on the family tree. I recognize you as being no kin of mine. You will mate with me!" "No! Please don't do this!" Nina began screaming as Sesshomaru pushed her against the wall. Needless to say, Nina's screams did her no help that night.

Afterwards, the three dudes find the shrine and they split up; Miroku goes to find Nina and the other two go to find Sesshomaru.

Naturally, Miroku finds her.

Since the paragraph is too long to quote, I shall provide you with a translation.

Nina: *being pathetic* Do not want teh rapez.
Miroku: Never fear, Miroku is here! *frees her*
Nina: I am unworthy for I got teh rapez.
Miroku: ANGER!

Miroku then takes her to the others, who are busy fighting Sesshomaru.

Summary:

Inuyasha: Dude's invincible!
Kenshin: Indeed.
Inuyasha: How is this so?!
Sesshomaru: Tottaly raped your kid Inuyasha. Was the only way to get the scroll to work. It's kinky like that.
Inuyasha: WTF!? AHH HELL NAH!
Kenshin: WE KEEL U! <-Totally OOC
Sesshomaru: Nah, I invincible thanks to the SCROLL. Yep, so long as I have this SCROLL, I am invincible!
Miroku: *lightbulb* -rambles unnecessarily about scroll's past- We need to destroy the scroll!
Kenshin and Inuyasha: k
-scroll go boom-
Sesshomaru: NUU!
All three: *kill the FUCK out of Sesshomaru*
Sesshomaru: REVENGE! -bleh- *dead*

After

Nina: I have shamed you for getting teh rapez father!
Inuyasha: Nah, it coo. Wasn't your choice, total loophole and all that shiz.
Nina: I don't think so. Tottaly shamed you for getting teh rapez.
Miroku: Tottaly shouldn't tell the girls about this.
Other two: Agreed.
Nina: ANGSTANGSTANGSTANGSTANGSTANGSTANGSTANGSTANGSTANGSTANGSTANGSTANGSTANGSTANGST

I'll take the other three tomorrow. Hope you enjoyed this. ^^

Godmodder Studios wrote:

Indeed.

*appears in a puff of smoke* Greetings mortals, I figured I ought to contribute SOMETHING at least ONCE a year. Nice to see this site actually picking up a little, though.

I'm going to pick up right where I left off in this fic as my way of saying hello again to you all~!

*blinks* Wait...OH SONUVA BI-

*cue overly awesome theme song*

Anyways, let's continue, shall we? I plan on making this short and simple. By that, I mean I'm going to translate the last three ridiculously short chapters into something that is actually entertaining. Enjoy.

[text] <-My personal comments

Kenshin opens up about his past aka Kenshin reveals his past

*crack!*

Owwww... *rubs head* Stupid text bricks...

I'll just translate for you to save us all some time.

Nina: ANGSTANGSTANGSTANGSTANGSTANGSTANGST *helps put together camp* ANGSTANGSTANGSTANGSTANGSTANGST
Miroku: Will she still marry me? I mean, rape is a horribly traumatic event. I know! I'll keep my distance from her and NOT comfort her in her time of need because she needs to get over the horribly traumatic event on her own!

[Yeah! Because what a women needs after being raped is to be abandoned by her loved ones because she needs to get over it by herself!]

[...Wait what?]

Nina: Sneaky sneaky~ *sneaks off while everyone is asleep*
Kenshin: You not so sneaky. *feigning sleep, then follows her*

Nina: Oh woe is me, I have shamed my family because I was raped despite me being completely incapable of stopping it in any way shape or form! Oh pedobea-err, I mean Miroku my fiance, you deserve someone better, someone who wasn't raped! *pulls out knife with the intention to kill herself with it*

[YESYESYESYESYES!]

Kenshin: Tottaly shouldn't do that. It'd be such a major bummer to everyone if you did.
Nina: ANGSTANGSTANGST
Kenshin: BEHOLD, MY BACKSTORY! Please ignore the glaring error about who trained me and gave me my name!
Nina: BAAAAAAAW! So sad! I suddenly lack the desire to kill myself because I don't want to make you sad!
Kenshin: HOORAY, I FINALLY CONTRIBUTE SOMETHING TO THIS STORY!

[Shouldn't Miroku be the one to talk her out of killing herself?]

Nina: Shouldn't Miroku be loving me and supporting me right now?

[GOD-FUCKING-DAMNIT, THE MARY-SUE IS POINTING OUT THE PLOTHOLES!]

END. CHAPTER.

Miroku's Choice aka Miroku's decision

Kagome: *teary-eyes, yet completely emotionless, glomps Nina* Yay, you're back.
Inuyasha: Gonna have the girl checked out, don't look into it.
Kagome: Don't worry, it's not like I care about her enough to go with you so that I too may know the condition of my daughter.

[Seriously why doesn't she go with him? I mean, that thing IS HER DAUGHTER, you'd think she'd want to go with him so that she too may know her condition.]

Kaide: Yeah, since I recently became not only a medicine woman, I also have a degree in Psychology to go with it. I say she's physically fine, but mentally still in that cave.

[Also, where's Miroku in all this? How about we check up on him, huh?]

Miroku: Man, am I worried about whether or not I'm going to marry her now or later. Also, she's TOTTALY not a replacement for Sango.

[ ]

LATER THAT NIGHT

Nina: NIGHTMARE SCARY!
Miroku: I have been woken up by my fiance because of her crying, I shall now go to her room to console her because I did not sleep in the same room with her despite her needing me more than ever after the traumatic events that happened to her!

[Shouldn't you have be there next to her to begin with? Seriously...]

Nina: BAAAAAW! Me monster, not graceful like Sango.
Miroku: Shh, it's ok. Sesshomaru is the monster because he is SUCH an evil beast that cares not for anyone but his own selfish desires.

[Didn't he once go to the plane between mortal and hell to save Rin after she was killed? Also, didn't he fall in love with Kagura and suffer a rather heartbreaking heroic BSOD when she died in his arms? Yeah, that Sesshomaru. He's SUCH an unfeeling monster, isn't he?]

Nina: Me no longer virgin which means me no love you long time!
Miroku: S'okay. I'm kewl wit dat.
Nina: Really?
Miroku: Totally.
Nina: ...Can we make-out?
Miroku: WOULD I?!
Nina: YAY!
Both: *make-out*

WEDDING DAY

Inuyasha: *reminiscing about raising Nina*
WEDDING!

THAT NIGHT

Nina: No sexxors plz
Miroku: I shall honor your decision.

END CHAPTER

Live renews itself

FIVE YEARS LATER

Please refer to the ending of the Inuyasha manga, except make it stupid and not heartwarming and replace Sango with Nina.

END OF THE FUCKING STORY

LOL.

Sounds like an over-shipper.