Happy Birthday to me! Now I have to suffer...

As the title clearly states, my birthday is comming up. Tommorrow, to be exact. And so, I decided I should just torture myself for no reason other than my pain and suffering amuses you people. Oh, but if I'm goin' down, you fuckers are goin' with me. So, shall we?
Aisha: As is usual for his Pokemon snarks, me and Flare shall help him.
Flare: I guess I'll help...
Thank you, girls.
Flare: Yeah, yeah...
So we join our protaganist at her 16th birthday party. And...

Ash at the food table. I looked at him and had to giggle. After 5 years almost nothing had changed in that boy still the same raven black hair. AND he still could eat more than a snorlax.

Flare: No... Ash cannot eat more than a Snorlax...
Only a Saiyan can pull that shit off.
Aisha: Moving on. May is just thinking about whether or not she should go on a journey 'buy me self.'
What a party. Fuckin' metal.
Flare: So the party ends at midnight, and she's too tired to clean up, so she goes to bed and...

May's dream

"Blasikin help! Fire spin.

" sweetie you are going to have to do better than that." Evil laughter. Then green and purple with a carturen. " no that should have knocked it out."

" no it's should not have grass types are imunne to fire well HE he my cacturn is."

Look, Flare, a Blaziken.
Flare: A weak one. Cacturne is a Grass/Dark. If Fire doesn't work, FUCKING PUNCH HIM. Still Super Effective.
Aisha: But noooo, May is entirely too stupid to realize this, so she gives up.
Then...

I turned around drew was standing there. His green hair. Black under shirt with the purple vest thing of green pants and black shoes.

" drew? What are you doing here?"

He flicked his hair. Yep deffitly drew.

Well...yeah. How many other people does she know with green hair?
Flare: Also, how many people wear a purple vest and green pants? He's a fashion nightmare.
Aisha: This is anime, it's not suprising.
Flare: True.

" saveing you butt girl." His voice had gotten deeper.

Yeah, puberty will do that to ya.
Flare: so the kid summons a Roselia, and... the dream ends.
Huh. How much you want to bet this was completely pointless?
Flare: I don't take sucker bets.
Damn. Eesh?
Aisha: No.
Damn.
Aisha: Chapter 2.

"hey,mom what whould you do if i asked if i could go on another pokemon anventour?" i asked her as we cleaned up from that last nights prtay.

Oh, good, his spelling got worse... At least I think the author's a guy, fuck if I know.

" hey baslkin,mutschlax,glaceon,vinasur butifly,skitty. were are you guys?"
they all come from differant directionsall saying there names exitedly. i smiled i loved my pokemon.

Flare: Damn, I was hoping May would bring her Blaziken.
Never heard of a baslkin, mutschlax, or vinasur.

"hey, guys you about ready to go on another grand festival and the steps there?"
all of they was i guessed a "heck ya why not~!~"

Aisha: ...
...
Flare: ...Moving on...

" alright." i said looking at my self in the miorr " I think i can hit the road."

i went daown stairs there was some one i never though whould be there... i just could not belive it.

Aisha, anything to say here?
Aisha: *busy checking herself out in the 'miorr'*
Flare: Also, cliffhanger! Like anyone really gives a shit...
Chapter 3.

" Max your here i though that you were on your pokemon joueny!"

he got a mistuvfeous look come over his eyes " I've been here all morning i go here at 7:00 but you were to busie getting ready to leve to see me enter you room."

Aisha: ...Wolfy, what's with that look in your eyes?
*grins, a mistuvfeous look in his eyes*
Flare: Also, Max just entered her room while she was packing and getting dressed and what not... and didn't say anything? Didn't knock? Nothing?
Of course not.

" i have been good i don't have any new pokemon though sorry i still only have grovile and butterfree right now."

Hey, if it's anything like a certain Grovyle, that's all you need. He can do anything because he's voiced by Dan Green.

" well you had better get going then sis don't what you to get weak agant dddddrreeeeeeeewwwww."

i gleraed at him.

"MAX! why does everyone think i like him?"

he smirked and answer in the most sweetest voice he could." because you do dear sister"

...Did Max just pull an Admin?
Flare: Yes, actually. 'Why does you think I like him?'
'...Uh, 'cause you do.'
Aisha: Anyway, May leaves and has a dream again. The dialog is different, but the events are the same.
After that...

i had not seen that my first pokemon had let it's self out of it's pokeball.

...And now the Blaziken is pulling a Pikachu.
Flare: Of course. No little Pokeball can hold us Blaziken.
*puts her in her ball*
Flare: *breaks out* See?
Impressive, you did something a Pikachu could do.
Flare: Didn't say it was impressive.
Aisha: Hey, when you're done fighting, lovebirds, we gotta get to work.
Flare: ...No. Just...no.
God no... But, well, her statement's partially correct.
Flare: Eh?
We're fighting, yer a bird, and we gotta get this shit done.
Flare: Yeah, yeah...
Aisha: Chapter four.
Must...get...halfway...
Flare: Hang on, we're almost done!

When i woke up the next morning i was ready to go with a skip in my step and singng to my self " there you see her sitting there across the way." and on i went i got over the hill. then i seen the train station. " wow, i can't belive i made it i was sertan that i whould not bbe able to get here before tomarrow.

as i skipped down the hill i was not watching were i was going " owww watch were youre going~!~"

" oh, i'm sorry" as i backed away from him. i looked up my mouth dropped "DREW WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!"

Flare: What a tweest!
Suprising, really, what a shock.

" well i am trying to find out what time tomarrow the train leves and you?"

" WHAT IT DOES'NT KEVE UNTIL TOAMRROW?"

" ya genius that's what i just said." then he flicked his hair.

Like, duh. Of course it doesn't leave until tomorrow. *flicks hair*
Flare: Yeah, your hair isn't long enough anymore...
I know. Still, someone had to do it.

" HI HI HI HI" i turned around after the waird girl let me go and i looked at her she was were a pink vest with a white long sleeved shirt and blue jean cpapries and white shoes with a stripe of pink on them. " well are you going to say hello? that whould be the nice thing to say."

" uhh hi umm might i ask who are you."

" oh ya i'm kara pokemon cooridator just like you and drew."

Newcomer: Kara.
Flare: I doubt I'll like her.
...Aisha, yer being quiet. That's never good for me.
Aisha: Oh, no, you two are doing a good job, keep it up. I'm not doing anything, really.
Kay...

" ya i just just about to ask drew if he whonted to travel with me." i said truly meaning it.

" you were?" drew said taken it back

" awwwww you guys should so be together."

Wow, even the annoyance sees it.
Flare: Embarassing.
Aisha: Mmhm.

me and drew could not help but blush at that kara grabed my arm and draged me and drew on to the train. in to the back one and then locked the door.

" sorry about this but i have some bad news."

i looked at drew and he looked at me

" and that whould be?" we said at the same time.

" we have to travel with my wird boreing sister. she should be comeing any minute with some sanks.

Ugh... Why do I get feeling I'm going to hate the OCs even more than I hate the actual canon characters?
Flare: You are certainly not alone there, sir.
Good. Anyway, chapter five!
Flare: So May spends a paragraph describing the train, which she said her cart was 'beautiful.'
If she starts singing a song on trains, I'm fuckin' done.
Flare: So we cut to this girl named Gemini and her point of view.

" Kara did you drag some one who did not whant to be here on to the train again?" i asked as kara came out with one of the last things she needed orange soda

*chuckles* Wow, is this normal for her? Dragging people on trains that don't wanna be there?
Flare: That's...sad...

" no, not this time gemini she said it whould be fun and so did her boy friend."

" HE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND ~!~ He'S A GUY THAT"S MY FRIEND~!~"

kara giggled and said " Oh, i'm sorry May i just thought that you and drew were the cutest cuple that i ever seen!"

'He's not my boyfriend! He's a guy that's my friend! If you say otherwise, I'll keep shouting until you believe me!'
Flare: I believe that's called denial.
I believe she needs to just admit that she likes Drew.
Flare: So Drew get's pwn'd by this Gemini chick, flicks his hair some more, and the end.
Wait, no, she picked up a Flygon book. This is important for later.
Flare: It is?
Probably not, but I like Flygon.
Flare: Right, moving on...
No, fuck this fic. I'm done for now, maybe later today.
Flare: Alright then. Hasta la bye-bye, people.
...Epic quote, ma'am.
Flare: Heheh...

A'ight, let's finish this thing.

" yes the decorations are so ready for tonight." kara said. as she of once so was not jumping but stound still amased at may and her handy work they had found some red and green paper that you cna get to go an al most evey thing.

One sentence in, and I'm reminded why I didn't want to continue this shit.

" well green and red to getter make a good combo."

Gee, I wonder if this has anything to do with May and Drew. I mean, she said Red's her favorite color, and Drew dyes his hair green so obviously he must like it.

" oh... and may please keep kara out of the food. thanks"

" HEY THAT'S NOT A NICE THING TO SAY ABOUT ME~!~"

Ugh...uhh...
Flare: Sir?
I apologize, I just had an aneurysm out of sheer stupidity...
Flare: Uhm, maybe you should get that checked out...
Nah, it's a good thing I'm indestructible.

" hey drew i was wondering were you wen't help my find kara whould you. or you could go and tell gemini that it's time to get up if you'd like." she said with a higher pitched voice. when i realized what she ment i blushed. i qucky flicked my hair so she whould not see the blush.

" y-ya i could do that well you find kara." i try to sound normal. but it did not work out.

" well alright you had better go and do that then mr. romeo." she said with a wink.

...This scene is-
All: Entirely pointless.
No, really, Kara just went to the fridge and could hear the entire thing. It's completely pointless!

then i could not help but giggle and jump up and down " DREW you have a little crush on gemini don't you." i said jumping up and down with i loved to do at anytime!

may and drew just stood there like i was carzy. " i'm not crazy not at allllllll oh cool look at that guy that just passed out window~!~ he looked so cool in his hat" i looked over at may and drew they were looking like they whanted to be else wer.

Oh boy, Drew possibly has a romantic interest in the OC.
Flare: So, May just admits that she loves Drew, mentally. And...the end.
Chapter seven!

" how c-can he just not care at all?" i keep telling my self but also i keep thinking that mabe he never really cared about me in the first place. tears were rolling down my face. i had not seen gemini come in. the next thing i knew she was sitting on the bed next to me. i turned away and wiped away the tears.

Boo-frickity-hoo.
Flare: Wow, kinda heartless?
No. Fuck this story and all characters involved.

"before you ask if i like him back you should know that the answer is no. i know deep down that he likes me but loves you but his heart has not quite told it to his brain i see it when he looks at you." she said looking forward." now every thing is ready drew is back with you two's pokemon let's hurry and get some food before kara eats all of it." she said with a qwick smile. she then stood up and left the room.

...Hurk! *thump, dead*
Flare: ...Pussy. So much for indestructible.
Aisha: Siri? Siiiriii? Get up, come on...

Flygon's POV

some thing was wrong drew had never really showed interest in another trainner other than may but who was this new person? drew was looking at her in mutch the same way that he often looked at may.

could he not tell that may was takeing this very hard i looked over at the new trainner in the room and was so confused i just sat down in front of may.

Flare: Wow, the Flygon is smarter than his master. That's sad.

i was so confused how in the world could a guy love a girl and still like a girl. i liked gemini and yet loved may everything she did was a wonder to me. ahe was smileing at me i could tell she was just trying to make me feel better about what was happeing with torchick she had no idea what was going on in my mind. she looked so butiful smileing at me with her always wondering eyes. i smiled back.

...Hurk! Guh...ugh... Whoa...was that so stupid it brought me back to life?
Flare: Apparantly, Spoony, apparantly.
Whew. Well, then...
Flare: Also, you missed the Flygon scene.
FFFFFUUUU-
Aisha: Good to have you back. Chapter eight!
So we find out Gemini is 17, she has a flashback, and...yeah. Absolutely diddly-dick happens here.
Flare: Jesus, you can make trading cards out of all the pointless scenes in this fic.
Aisha: *already doing that*
Flare: Hm.
And then Gem fights some guy... and yeah.

" hey i'm gavin what's you name?" he asked me with a quiet ladback voice.

" i'm kara nice to meet you so what brings you here?" i asked looking in to thoughs butifulf blue eyes

" i just wonderd in her really... have you seen a guy named steve around?" he asked looking like he was some what wonting to go and yet stay.

" no i'm sorry i have not." i said with a sorry in my voice then may had found the suimmimg suits and vlindly draged my away from gavin.

" see you." i called to him he waved. i smiled i hoped i could see him again.

Oh, no, not a love interest, God help us all! The main annoyance has a boyfriend in progress! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
Flare: Yes, in the author's note, the author admits Gem and Kara now have love interests. So yeah...
Aisha: Chapter nine.

as the guy named steve that aberantly was drew's relitivei looked at him and seen the box in his hands.

Oh God, I think it says this Steve is Drew's relative. Yup, another relative OC, joy of all fuckin' joys.

as he pulled it up i almost gasped. it was silver with a pendend that had a red M and a emerald D interwind and behind that a butiflyholding them.

"drew it's amzing how muth was it." i asked looked up to drew.

" well i can't tell you i don't whant anyone to know." he said with a hand behind his head. i looked over at the clock it was about 3:30 one more hour before my pokemon match with steve.

D'aw, how sweet. Now, enough of this sappy shit, on with the violence! Steve's Espeon vs Gemini's Umbreon, go! *Mortal Kombat theme*

steve then yelled "mist ball" a yellow ball formed at the pokemon's gem( i don't really know what it looks like or does but is a real move.)

Mortal Kombat! Okay, fuck this, this is not worthy of the theme...

"espieon use pykick now!" he smiled and looked at me " sorry i tryed not to use it on you."

Flare & Aisha:

" gastly use shadow sneek." i said

" ha ha ha oh crap wait." steve then relsed that that attack never misses then mygastly flotted over and used lick on the dustclops i smaked my head.

" ha ha ha i see your gastly does not care what you think." he smiled "dustclops use willow wisp hard." sence gastly was there it hit is and it passed out.

drew was laughing " ha ha ha steve winns this one ha ha ha ."

" ya ya keep laughing youre going to get it drew." i said agery to him

Flare: 'What'd she say? Did she say Shadow Sneak, a move that will actually hurt? Nah!'
Also, It's Will-O-Wisp, and IT DOESN'T DO ANY FUCKING DAMAGE. It just burns, it doesn't cause any damge itself!

"houndoom use attract now~!~" houndoom jump up and winked yellow harts came out at hit steves houndoom and his stopped imtiletle in it path and got little heart for eyes.

"crap what did you do to him?" steve asked

...SHE USED ATTRACT, YOU FUCKING RETARD! She even shouted 'Use attract!' What the fuck?! How can you be that stupid?!
Flare: Anyway, Gem wins.
Ugh... Fuck this, I'm stopping here. Enough for now.

'Use this move that the author has no idea about! What the hell is Bulbapedia? Common sense? You're talking Greek here, man!'

'Hey, Psychic is super-effective against Dark-types, right? Let me just check... Nah, I'm probably right. No sense wasting time! Herp-a-durp! '

No multitude of emotes can express what I feel.


And I still don't think that's enough.

Shadow Sneak: Physical attack. Ghost type. 40 power. +1 priority makes it go first almost always.

Shadow punch: doesnt miss. Ghost type. 60 power. physical

Since both moves are physical it doesnt fucking matter which one he used. Ghastly's physical attack power sucks Articuno's nuts.

As that may be, Echo, Shadow Sneak would actually harm the enemy, however slight, and would let said Gastly do a little damage before dying. I still say it's an idiot for using Lick.