From the Author of THE PROTOMAN and POKEMON: LEGACIES OF POKEMON...

Yeah, I went to check out THE PROTOMAN to see if he updated and it said he wrote three stories. I knew he wrote this and the Pokemon one, but I wondered what the other would be. I wish I hadn't checked. This is his latest failfic, FROZEN AUTUMN 2. Why is it two? I dunno, he doesn't have a Frozen Autumn one... But, yeah, I'm gunna snark this and I may not point out everything, because, being a man, I'm not a fan of the series. Let's begin.

Author’s Note: Hey guys, no flame please, I just loved these novels from the brilliant mind of Stephanie Meyer, one of my favorite authors ever. Please enjoy.

...And this is from the guy who said earlier:

What’s that? A complaint? What the fuck are you going to do about it?

And he also said...

Yeah, it must be tough to read these with your face coated in a warm gooey layer of semen.

...So, let me clarify this, he's calling the people reading his failfics gay, while he's writing a story about a series of books that are read almost only by women. Am I getting through to you people?!
Anywho, back to the current failfic...

Edward’s cold breath showed in the night air like a misty wisp of smoke coming out of a shoe factory.

...'Kay... At least he's gotten better at spelling and grammar. I don't notice any flaws so fa-

He ran incredibly fast thru the forest, looking for prey to sink his vampirical teeth into when he saw a young deer.

...Ya know, I gotta learn to just shut the fuck up. Anyway, he bites the deer, then shouts 'No' because he sees Bella's head on the deers body that he was eating. Don't vampires just suck out all the blood? Again, I don't know too much about the series, so feel free to correct me, but don't they just suck blood and NOT eat the body? I dunno, who cares, let's just finish this shitty story.

Ed awoke from his nightmare which is bizarre since he doesn’t sleep.

...If he doesn't sleep, how was he having a nightmare? Is that something else I don't know about Twighlight's vampires? Do they have nightmares while they're awake? Well, no time to question things now, as he makes some food, which he spits out because he doesn't eat food, appearantly. He goes to get Bella and...

Bella came outside completely nude which startled Ed and then slapped his forehead as he realized that it was “Nudist Appreciation Day.”

*banging head against wall*
-Three hours later-
Okay... I think I'm good... Whoo, lookit teh starz... *falls backwards unconsious*
Axl: ...I guess that means I'm in charge of the snark... Again... Okay, let's try to wrap this up: Ed strips his clothes, they go to the movies, get throw out for bein' naked (Shocking, I know), and Ed kills the kiosk guy.

OMG EDWAR! I TOLD YOU NOT TO KILL PEOPLE! LOOK. AT. ME. DON’T. KILL. EVER. AGAIN. Got it?!? Ugh, forget it, I’m through, We’re over!” Bella yelled.

Axl: You know, as she's snapping at him, all I can think about is whether she said 'OMG' or 'Oh my God.' Oh well, she goes to the house of this Billy person, who's a crippled native american, and they had 'hawt sex.' Then, right after, she leaves. Doesn't she wanna clean off, or something? I mean, she's still nude, and I think it'd be pretty obvious that she just had sex, but whatever. Ed's outside waiting, he calls her a 'stupid dumb butt head.' And then...

Bella said “Edwar, I’m in lurve with Billy now, Like, go away, Mmmmk?”

Axl: *chuckles* I have to give him credit, he has a nice teenage girl line.
-Apologies to all teenage girls-
Axl: So, Ed bites her, she become a vampire, she appearantly forgave him, they bonked each other every day, and Bella get pregnant.
*gets up* Oh, my head... Oh, uh, bottom line: This story is horrid. Honestly, it's not as bad as THE PROTOMAN, but they're both shit. My advice, stay the hell away from this story, Twlight fan or no. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gunna try to bash the memory of this story out of my head... *continues bashing head against wall*

I got into contact with the writer of these stories. He admits to being troll.

Lord I hate my age group. At least, a large portion of them.

Doesn't suprise me.

Beat me to it, Ultima. I too have contacted him, he's reviewed my stories.

But even if he wasn't a troll this kind of thing wouldn't surprise me. Take a shitty story, get a shitty fandom, read a horrifyingly shitty fanfic.
Almost as bad as C*l*br**n. *shudders* I prefer not to say that... Ugh...

When you contacted him, what did he say?

This story of his proves that he's capable of at least one coherent though line.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6344515/1/THE_MEMOIRS_OF_A_KITCHEN_SINK

Then you learn that he wrote a troll fic of Resident Evil after it.