Team Angels, a Pokemon failfic

Yo. Me again. I can't say I'm the only person to post here anymore, can I? Anyway, since this is a fic about the Explorers of Time/Darkness/Sky series, I brought my favorite Legendary from the MD games. Say hello to the one and only Being of Emotion, Mesprit!
Mesprit: Hey...
What's wrong?
Mesprit: We're reading a failfic about me, you'd be upset too if it was you.
True.
Aisha: Let's get this show on the road!
This is 'Team Angels.'

Misprit:
Pokemon: Mesprit

Durr, weally? I woulda thought Mesprit was an Uxie if they didn't state that...
Mesprit: Specifying my race isn't necessary if my name is still Mesprit...
Aisha: Aaaaand, here's my first problem...

Age:17
Female

...Mesprit's genderless. And, also, I know I'm going to refer to Mesprit as 'he' or 'him.' It's just 'cause I don't like calling characters I like 'it' and after I saw him in Explorers of Sky I can't think of him as a chick.
Mesprit: Also, I'm a Legendary. I'm pretty sure I'm older than 17, you moron... -_-'
Aisha: This is gonna hurt...
Now, let's actually start the story. I mean, I can forgive a lot if the story is nice and this looks like it holds a little promise. I'm sure it'll be okay-

Story 1
Boring Day
~~Guild Home ~~~
"Why don't we have any missions today? I am board." Myuu groaned as she laid on pink bubble. Mew zoomed in circles above.
"It's our day off today. We need time to relax. Why don't we talk about something?" Min smiled as she looked up at Myuu.
"Fine, Misprit when you told your brothers that you were going to start a team, how did they act?" Myuu said starring straight at Misprit.
"Well they told my that was good and they cheered for me. But for some crazy reason I could sense that they were crying with joy on the inside. I love my two brothers." Misprit said as she spun around.
"Uh... Maybe they're crying with joy because you where leaving."Cele sighed while she was reading a book with Celebi.
"Hmm... Yeah right I know those guys love me and Mesprit."Misprit smiled.
"SLEEP!"Myuu shouted out as everyone fell asleep. (Even Myuu)

...Damn you, Murphy! Damn you to hell!
Aisha: Told ya it was gonna hurt, Siri-kun.
Yeah, yeah, you were right. As usual.
Aisha: ^^
Mesprit: ...Why me?
Because this author likes making Legendaries teenage girls. And you're pink.
Mesprit: Yeah, that'd do it...

Story 2
Cookies.
"I am gonna get some cookies , cookies , cookie.."Myuu sang. Myuu stepped up on the stool and opened the cabinet to find no cookies.
"OMG! We ran out of cookies." Myuu cried.

Yup. Definately teenage girls...
Mesprit: What have they done to you, Mew?
Aisha: ...I wonder, did she actually say 'OMG' or 'Oh my God'?
I bet it was the former.
Aisha: Yeah...

"Maybe you should eat something else besides cookies." Min said in a sweet voice trying to comfort the sobbing Myuu.
Shaymin quickly ran in to find crying , so shaymin ran back into her bed.
"I sense EMOTION!SADNESS!" Misprit freaked out.
"Stay happy! Myuu! Remember when you're sad I am sad." Misprit pleading on the ground. Mesprit flew over to the sobbing Mew and tried to make her happy.

Mesprit: I sense STUPIDITY! THIS FIC!
Also, is it Mesprit or Misprit?
Aisha: This is failfic. Failfic has no-
Yeah, yeah, I got it.

"What about when I am sad. You stay happy and jolly." Cele said angrily. Celebi floated there not understanding nothing.
"Mesprit I care about Cele , don't I?" Misprit said looking at Mesprit with a smirk.
"Sometimes but usually when it involves all of us." Mesprit said whirling around.
"Oh well." Misprit disappeared with Mesprit.
Cele shrugged,"Oh Well." Cele disappeared. Celebi disappeared as well.

Wait, what? There's the OCs, and the original Legendaries, and... I'm lost.
Mesprit: I have no idea what's going on...
Aisha: This is a failfic. I am not suprised by this.

"Oh look a box of cookie." Shaymin said tugging in a box a cookies.
"Thank you Shaymin." Min smiled.
"Yep!" Shaymin smiled.
"All better!" Myuu and Mew happily sang at the same time.

...Okay...I give up. The End.
Aisha: Final verdict: 'WTF.'
Both: Until next time, ami-
Mespit: Ooh, look. Three more of her Pokemon failfics. And one is a Kingdom Hearts/Pokemon crossover.
Both: ...FFFFUUUU-
Mesprit: Next story! Plush!

Oki sat in the little blue bedroom.
Oki saw a phione plush. She hugged it.
Then Oki saw a phione figure she put it a little blue cloth bag.
Oki then ate a couple sweet poffins.
Oki then hoped up on to the bed and fell asleep.

...What the fuck?
Aisha: Verdict: 'WTF.' ...Again.
Mesprit: ...Listen, failauthor, probably failtroll, not every Legendary is a girl. Most of us are genderless.
I only know of one female Legendary, and thats Latias. Last story for the day. Poffin.

Poffin

Cute, Soft, Tiny

Pink , plush , star

Fun, Short , Kind

Friend

...Kay.
Aisha: Verdict: 'WTF.' Again. Again.
Dead-on accurate with the verdicts as usual, ma'am.
Aisha: Thank you, Siri-kun.
Mesprit: If you two are done makin' out, can we get to ending this thing?
Piss off, Pinky. Anyway...
Sirius & Aisha: Until we find another failfic, adios, amigos.
Mesprit: And you'll probably see me when they find another Pokemon failfic. Bye.

Wait, hold on, so... There are Myuu [Mew's Japanese name] and Mew, as two separate Pokemon, and ditto [no pun intended] for Mesprit and Misprit?
I'm so confused... Damn you, failfics!

Yeah. You get used to this crap. I still can't get over the fact that she made them all teenage girls.
Mespirt: Despite the fact that we're several millenia old. Dumbshit failauthor.

Could be worse: You could all be male, and you could be in a yaoi fic.

Mesprit: ...Thank you for bringing that up...
...Thanks, I reall wanted to think of THAT again...

'Again?'

'That' being several pics and fics describing what you mentioned.

I'd say that this failfic is an example of Critical Research Failure.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CriticalResearchFailure

So sad.

You can say that again...

I was going to object but now that I think of it, not even the worst troll would think that Myuu and Mew were different Pokemon without doing the research.

BTW, Cresselia has also been confirmed to be female.

Heatran can be both.

Which leads me to believe that Heatran is simply a rare Pokemon of a similar rarity to the starters. If it can be of either gender, then there must be more than one, right?

Actually, there is. Just check Bulbapedia for appearances.

I honestly don't see the point of having different genders if they can't mate. Another hole in their logic, I guess.

Logic? This is Pokemon, don't ever bring logic into this again.