ashs compitition for his girlfriend, a Pokemon Failfic

Okay, so the summary of this story is May, Misty and Dawn are competing to be Ash's girlfriend. *chuckles* Okay, seriously now. What do they see in him? Honestly? Anyway, let's dive into this this little trainwreck, shall we?

Back in town
Ash ketchum and dawn came back to pallet town and there house

Wait, if Dawn's in the competition to be his girlfriend, that means she's not currently. And they have a house together...?

Misty:hi ash
May:hey
Dawn:hi everyone
They ate lunch and ash started to boast about his pokemon
Ash:well I got a chimchar satrrapter torterra and a lucario
May:wow

Aisha: 'Wow, you have four pokemon! And one is still unevolved! That's amazing!'
'Yeah, and the others are a bird, a turtle, and a pokemon sex-symbol!'
Aisha: I never undertood the fascination with Lucario...
Meh, I think they're cool, but... Probably the number one pokemon to be put into M-rated fanart and fics? Too far, methinks.
Aisha: Indeed.

Misty:let's get to bed
Ash slept like a log
Dawn snored witch was kepping may up it was so loud she chucked a pillow at her
Misty was asleep to
Next day
Ash:let's have brekfast
Dawn:after let's go to the beach
Max:ash
Ash:hi max
Misty:max here's your tenner
They finnesed and went to the beach and swimmed for a bit
Misty was wearing a green swimsuit
Dawn was wearing a piplup one
May was wearing a red one

...I think anyone reading this can see the fails in this quote, so I'll leave it at that.

May:ash everyone fancys you so do I
Dawn:and me
Misty:and me
Ash was wearing red and black striped shorts
Dawn: ino let's do a compition

Here's a legitimate quesion: What do you see in him? Honestly? Also, what's Ino from Naruto doin' in a Pokemon fanfic?
Ino: Oh, I-
You just said two words too many, get out. *teleports Ino away* Anywho...
Aisha: Chapter 2!

Food contest
Ash:the first contest is a food contest
They cooked some food
Ash:lovely what is in there
Misty:pasta mince tomato
Ash:mmm
Misty:cat pee rabbit poo
Ash collasped luckly dalton ewen the god revied him
Ash:thank you may
May:I made burgers and chips
10/10 ash said
Dawn:waffles
100 out of 100 said ash
Ash:the winner is misty
Ash:she made me see dalton

...What the fuck is with the scoring system. It changes from person to person? That makes sense...
Aisha: Ash, if you do pick Misty, don't let her cook.
Chapter 3!

a#h#a#a# #m#a#y#b#e# #a#h#a#a# #;#)# #x#x# #a#n#d# #c#a#n# #i# #t#a#l#k# #t#o# #y#o#u# #a#b#o#u#t# #s#u#m#a#t# #a#b#i#t# #p#e#r#s#o#n#a#l# #x#x# # # #J#a#s#o#n# #L#u#f#c# #W#e#b#s#t#e#r# #2#3# #J#u#n#e# #a#t# #2#1#:#5#5# ##

This is, without a doubt, the best and most intelligent line in the entire failfic.
Aisha: Chapter 4!

Dating contest
Ash:dating now may resurent bar or beach

NO. Go back to the gibberish! It was easier and less painful to read!
Aisha: Anyway, May chooses 'resurent.'
You'd think resturant would be an option...

Ash took a deep breath and then kissed may may kissed back its like there made for eachother
Dawn:pub
Ash:dawn your cute
Dawn:why thank you
Dalton:kiss her
Ash kissed her on the lips and moved his arms over her neck
Misty:beach
Ash:you look hot with that on
Misty kissed him full force then so did ash
Ash:winner is may

...Please God let the next chapter be pure gibberish...
Aisha: Negative.
...FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU-
Aisha: Next chaprter!

Ash:I don't know what to chose
Dalton:how about doa 4
Ash:what's doa 4
Dalton:I play it on my 360 till 5 comes out
Ash:bring your 360
Dalton came from the clouds

...So, yeah, the author, this Dalton person, appears to believe he is a god that all the cannon charactes like.
Aisha: Original.
Indeed.

Every one chose there charecters
Dalton-hayte
Dawn-kasumi
May-ayne
Misty-helena
Ash-elliot
Dalton:let's do tag team
Dawn:I'll go last
May:I'll go with you dalton so I can woop with a vetran
Ash:dang
They played on forbidon sqaue
May and misty fighted first
Ash stated to mash the buttons when misty came to him he tagged her ash still buttun mashing did a roundhouse kick and ayne(may)fainted so hayte(dalton)came and power punched him and won
Ash:may wins

Oh, thank God we're done.
Aisha: Final verdict: 'Ungodly shit-fest.'
This is what I get for going into the Pokemon section, eh? It's rare to see the goodfics...
Both: Until next time, amigos.

Bah, the only good Pokemon fics are the ones that deconstruct the Game world, like Xanthic Growlithe Contract.

As long as they don't focus on Ash, I'm willing to give 'em a read. However, there are some that don't follow the anime nor the game's storylines that are good.

You mean you havn't read Growlithe Xanthic Chronicles? Damn your missing out.

Hm. What's it about? Aside from Growlith, of course.

You know the Pokemon world? Forget everything. It takes the game literly in every way and begins to show the sinister motives lurking around every corner. And the poor ten year old wrapped up in it all. Soon, the kid finds a murderd Nurse Joy, a ileagle helmet sold on the black market to kid tainers that boosts Psyduck's power at the cost of the poor Pokemon's life and sanity and my God it is the best fic ever. Thats not even half of the wierd shit in this fic.

Hm. Might just check it out.

You will notregret it.

My only response to this is
And also, if you wanna see the game world deconstructed, check out this fic:
Fall of a Champion.
It's about the life of a Ditto, who is all excited to be used to be a champion!
But then, well, you know what happens to any Ditto caught from Gen. II forward...
[No lemons. It actually has a storyline beyond that but I don't wanna spoil it.]

I've actually found a couple of good fics with Ash in them, but they tend to age him a bit and make him more mature.

Also, you forgot that Gardevoir is the one that ties Lucario for the title as the sex symbol of Pokemon. Though Gardevoir tends to stay female, both genders of the Lucario are used.

Yes, I spend entirely too much time in the M section FF.net and Fur Affinity.

I once saw a pic with a male Gardevoir. It was every bit as horrifying as you'd imagine.

If you think that's bad, you gotta think about the Gardevoir. A male with the epitome of a female body?

I pity him, I really do.